Mail order bride (2003) Eng
You said there was a girl that you really liked.
- The one with the hat. - Is she?
- Yes. - Do you have her profile?
"Lychee, 27 years old, from Burma.
1.50 meters tall, single. She has never been married.
She loves ice cream. She hates cats, but she loves puppies. "
She is pretty.
My name is Adrian Martin.
- What? - My name is Adrian Martin
and I'm asking for a wife by mail.
Why?
Why...
I think it's the best way to meet someone
without all the stupidities.
I tried the bar scene, and it didn't work.
People tried to introduce girls to me, it didn't work either,
so I decided ...
How could this be worse than the people who get drunk in the bars
and go home? They already know...
so ... I do it.
In exchange for Adrian's participation
in this movie
the producers agreed to help
to pay the service fees,
the legal fees and travel expenses
involved to the acquiring a wife.
My name is Roland Uruci, and I work for Chicas Para so.
We are a matchmaker company international.
In common terms, they are wives by mail,
but we prefer to say matchmakers international,
it is closer to what we do really.
It is well known that the American man
is seen as the best husband possible in the world.
They are excellent suppliers. They work a lot,
they know how to care for their women
and they also tend to go out a lot for vacation,
which is also an attractive element for other women.
How does it work exactly?
The way we set it is that you review in the catalogs,
Choose the girl you like,
he pays our fees, we give him the address of her,
- and the rest remains in you. - What do you mean by "the rest"?
You must make the initial contact, write letters,
establish a certain type of relationship,
and see if things progress more from there.
"Dear Lychee, my name is Adrian Martin
I saw your photo in the catalog from Club Para so
and you seemed to me very beautiful. "
This is so. Move the hand of ... of the flash, yes.
"I live in Queens,
which is part of the city from New York.
I have lived in Queens all my life.
I own my own house.
I also have a car. I work in the security field
- and property management. " - One more, one more.
- You're killing me. - Good, ready.
- In agreement. - "My favorite food
it's American food, but I also like Chinese.
I hope you decide to answer me
Sincerely, Adrian Martin. "
Let's try it, wouldn't we?
- Does it work? - Yes, it works.
It works absolutely. Our success rate is higher than 50% ...
Regarding marriages ... than the national average.
Two hands?
"Dear Adrian, I was very happy to receive a letter
Your car is very beautiful
and you're very handsome.
I live with in Bad-thag village.
Daily we bake padtha bread,
we travel to the village,
by bike,
radio..." With two "O".
"Sometimes as a pig.
I live in Queens, I live in Queens,
big car, more letters.
Lychee Martin ".
What do you think it means
"Lychee Martin"?
After three months of correspondence,
Adrián requests for Lichi
an immigration visa K-1 (matrimonial).
Lichi makes plans to come to USA
- How are you? - You'd like to say something to Lichi
if you could, would you tell her something before she arrives?
That I am a good guy, very simple.
She will come here and will be with a good guy
who is going to take care for her
And ... I have a job
I have "El Dorado" and my own house.
One second.
Yes ?
- Damn boy. - You were about to send a message to Lychee.
Welcome to THE USA
- How are you? - Hi, good.
I am going to take care of you.
- So are you excited? - Yes.
Why?
Because today, Lichi comes.
Fuck.
I'm broke.
She will believe that I am 15 years old.
ROTATE IT TO THE LEFT IN ... ONLY
You feel weird to accept
to marry someone whom have never
met in person?
If she doesn't look alike anything to the photo, Don't you care?
Not really.
The issue is that with makeup
the bad can be improved, Do you understand?
With makeup.
Sometimes they put on ... they put on too much makeup.
Sometimes they are liars.
If the face is not so good,
then they put on makeup and they are fine.
Or if the breasts are not very large, they put on a magical bra and they are.
Or if they are not very tall, they wear heels.
Women lie a lot.
They always say: "I'm so beautiful,
I'm a great cook. "
We'll see.
Your attention, please.
That John Comey comes to door 48A.
Hi.
"Samin sapi pile"?
I'm glad you're here.
Is that what you expected?
I expected him to come and bring wine.
Smile
Adrian and Lichi are proclaiming their love to the world,
and those of us here gathered
we rejoice with them and for them
in the new life they'll undertake together now.
Adrian, you accept Lychee
as your wife,
to love her, honor her, protect her and take care of her
as long as you live?
Yes.
And now, Lychee, You accept Adrian
to be your husband,
to love him, honor him, protect him and take care of him
as long as you live?
- Yes. - Yes.
Since they both consented to get married
and they have exchanged their votes in front of the witnesses,
by the authority invested to me and by the laws of the State of New York,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Congratulations.
- I'm very happy. - All right.
Do you know what is that?
It doesn't bite.
Go ahead, try it.
Look ... everything around.
You have to scrub.
Scrub here. So
Under the seat.
Go ahead, try it.
You have to scrub in the seat.
Clean under the seat.
You know, there.
All right. Look, I want him to...
paper... the sanitary paper
fall from above, yes?
So ... down.
Okay? Now, shake ...
Very well.
And here is the kitchen.
And then you open it ...
and you add it.
And you have to keep stirring.
Keep stirring.
- Keep stirring. - Keep stirring.
- Follow... - Yes, let me write it down
so you don't forget.
- "Keep stirring." - Keep stirring.
- What do they cook? - Is she still stirring?
We are making chili.
Vegetarian beans
Keep stirring.
It's an agreement.
Look.
You have to add a lot.
Keep stirring.
You are doing a great job.
If the head is there ...
You put the rat there.
Yes ... if the head it's here,
You put the rat there, yes?
Grab it from the tail.
Grab it.
Ahead.
Now ... the head it's there, yes?
Then put it there.
Ahead.
Okay?
You see? He's smelling it.
You are getting closer. Hot.
Cold, cold ... very cold.
Come here, Chipwich.
Do you want me to eat, don't you?
Ready.
That's it.
You see?
If Chipwich doesn't eat, Chipwich dies.
You don't want Chipwich to die, no?
Okay?
Don't cry.
Eat sand a.
DON'T CRY If I came from the street,
I would think that Lychee ...
She isn't your wife, but a maid.
What do you mean? I don't know.
What do you mean?
If someone were to say
that it seems that she was a maid or a maid,
What would you say?
She does her job, and me, mine.
Is that what this is about?
Is this your angle?
Because I don't get it, honestly.
Lychee is very happy here.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Let me show you something.
Lichi was born in 1975
in the poor village of Mai-tuk.
When she was three years old,
her six-year-old sister
was sold as a slave
to settle a family debt.
When she was 11 ...
her father died of malaria.
And her mom ...
had the burden of raising the family.
What else has she told you?
about her life...
Adrian?
Good,
It isn't like that here.
There's no food there.
There is no malaria in Queens.
It's fine.
- Hello. - Hello...
we are registering ... Lychee Martin
Thank you.
What is your date of birth? Date of birth?
When were you born?
October, November, December?
I will put January.
"Lychee Martin", there.
- Linki Martin? - Lichi, yes.
Come with me.
We read in the thing that ...
one of the complications is diarrhea or something like that.
- But that is... - It's very, very strange.
- In agreement. - It's a very strange scenario.
Most problems will come
with post-operative pain of 24 hours,
and there are very few other complications
more than the nausea, Maybe because of the anesthesia.
She thought that this was a regular control.
Have you spoken clearly ...
- Yes, of course. ... before coming to the conclusion
- of what he wants to operate for his wife. - We talked about it,
and we talk about it, and we talk about it again.
- Then I know. - There are other alternatives available.
She just wants to know
how is ... the procedure.
The procedure in itself It is relatively simple.
We are going to make an incision through the abdomen,
just below the navel.
A small incision, approximately 2.5 four cm.
And then we are going to close
or to flirt this horn
so that Lichi can no longer Get pregnant.
What is the word for "easy"?
- "Ji-eh-tan". - Jentan.
- Routine - Routine
Can we do it on Tuesday? I have that day free.
Sure, talk to my secretary in reception,
- and her... - Lydia?
Yes, she will take care of the appointment
- when necessary. - Very well.
Doctor, where's the bathroom? She would like to go to the bathroom.
The bathroom is right there outside. Is it okay?
- Yes, it's fine. - All right.
Then Lychee ... Lychee. Tell us what happened.
What happened?
- Come on, walk. - Adrian.
Let out.
Adrian, stay here.
No. Come, please?
Lychee seems to be upset.
Yes, and what did you say?
Why do you think she is upset?
I do not know, what did you say?
It seems she doesn't want the operation.
You start to distort things.
But it seems... what paree is
- You're forcing her. - No, nobody is forcing her.
We agreed not to have children,
so ...
Can you ... Could you turn it off?
Listen, you fixed the deal.
The deal was ... you were just to follow me, okay?
But you don't.
I just came here, I followed you,
I'm just filming what I saw.
Sure. Head?
- Yes ? - I have your drugs.
Thank you.
The deal was that you will continue ...
you were going to follow me, yes ? And you don't.
- You are judging me. - No no. I don't judge you.
You judge me and you try to ruin my marriage.
Do you know? I think it's the best. I wanted to tell you,
just that we stop this, yes ? It isn't working.
- Let me give you some time. - Listen, it doesn't work.
I ... will call you next week.
No, I don't want you to call me next week.
I want you to leave us alone, me and my wife,
because it's the best at this moment.
- Okay? - Are you mad at me?
No, no, it's fine. Everything is fine.
I'm just saying that this has ran out.
- Okay? - Sir, it can happen now.
Okay? Can we do it?
This ... this is sold out.
After the appointment with the doctor, the documentary is canceled.
Five weeks later, Lichi searched for to the director in her apartment.
Do you want to talk about why are you here?
Do you want to tell me what is in the video?
Adrian.
Welcome to THE USA
In agreement. Now I want what you do wear ...
so
Adrian came home one day and bring her flowers,
and it will be a very happy occasion.
And then you start taking pictures
In her El Dorado.
I didn't see it. You spied.
Turn around, get out.
More slowly, more slowly.
As if you were picking a towel.
Remember?
Keep your feet together. Yes.
- She was very scared. - Let's go downstairs.
She kept insisting that you drink,
and she wanted to film her, make a movie
We will make a film. Do you know why?
Because it's movie night. Stop, turn around.
Come on, we'll go down.
She didn't know what was going on
and she seemed crazy.
Say it. "Pap always wins."
Say it.
Pap ...
- Pap ... ...Always Wins.
...forever... - All right.
Go ahead, down.
Yes.
Unburden yourself
Making movies.
Okay? Take off your shirt.
Don't continue.
You despise me, huh?
Take off your pants.
Why don't you lie down?
The basement is dirty. You have to clean it.
Head down. Leave.
Head down.
Lick ... the cellar is dirty, you have to lick.
I'm sorry, I can't look at this.
Now you don't feel so special, Right?
Yes, I don't think we should either be watching it either.
I feel like I have to do it,
that is my responsibility
If I can help her somehow to have a better life at this point ...
- So did I do the right thing? - Yes.
Andrew wants you to be safe.
He has invited you to stay here
in his sofa .
Do you want to do it?
In agreement.
- Hello? - Yes, it's me.
- T ... S . - Adriana?
Do you know where Lychee is?
Not me...
I have no idea where Lychee is.
Because I can't find her
and I think she left.
You don't know if she went back to Burma or something like that?
Maybe?
Thanks for nothing.
No problem
If a wife comes to this country
and the marriage doesn't work,
What happens to her?
I think she might have to go back
to her country of origin,
and the gentleman will have to keep going.
And if she wanted stay?
Then we have the question of citizenship at that time,
and citizenship is always complicated
It was really fantastic.
You are a very talented young woman ...
- a lot, and very natural. - Clear.
Because I don't think ...
How much preparation Could he have had?
He's a professional ... in this works,
and hires chefs all the time.
- So... - Clear.
He knows it.
- You said everything was delicious. - Sorry,
but it was peasant's food. I still have sand on my teeth.
- Enough. - Nothing is different,
- It's not special. - You have to be able to do something to help.
I'll take care of all the paperwork ...
If she can learn to master our menu ...
everything that contains ...
then maybe we can sponsor it
Lichi begins to study the menu of the food service
DESSERTS and SWEETS Let me help you with this.
I worked like a crazy person.
This is beautiful.
I practiced preparing dishes
for Andrew and his girlfriend Merritt.
This is the best you have made for us
After six weeks, Andrew organized a dinner
for Lichi to demonstrate her skills.
- Excellent. - Yes, absolutely.
Lychee, no, you must stop. Let's go.
A picture. Let's go... Lychee
Then you're ready for tonight.
Are you nervous?
Are you? You seem nervous.
I guess the big mystery It's the dessert.
And I would like to try it now,
- to make sure he's rich. - I'm sorry, I can't.
I don't want everyone to arrive
and think that there is something wrong with that,
so I think it's important I'll try now.
Do you need help?
You don't help.
It seems that you have everything under control.
Lychee, do you need us to do something?
Do you need us to pick something up or ...?
- Lychee, I think it's going very well. - Don't worry.
Leave her alone. It's fine.
- I know. - I think you try too hard.
- In agreement. - Just give her space and she'll be fine.
- I think... - She seems happy too.
She's cyclothemic. I mean, It's not unusual, you know?
You can't expect her to be happy all the time.
- Hello boys. - Pass.
I hope you enjoy it.
Very well.
That is incredible.
Lychee, can you do something?
It's ... really good, Lychee.
- Really... - It's delicious.
Delicious, it's ...
- He's really rich. - Yes, wonderful.
If there's something you want, talk to me?
Is there something that bothers you?
- You're ... acting ... - Eat.
you're acting very weird at this moment.
- And she's putting ... - What's wrong with this?
- Get out of here. - I don't want to leave from here.
- I want to know what happened. - It's just ... we do ...
This is embarrassing for me.
I think we should sit down and eat,
and do the rest of ...
Can we go back to the table, please?
In agreement.
No dessert. Don't.
No dessert.
- Just sign up. - Don't.
Yes. In agreement.
- Lichi? - Does this mean there's no dessert?
In agreement.
Lychee, please.
Hi ... I'm Andrew.
Listen, I need a big favor.
Yes. Wait a second.
- And bring dessert. - Listen, I'm sorry.
- No, it's fine, but ... - Friends, I really regret it
- everything and... - Don't worry.
- And get off in a few minutes. - Thank you.
- Yes, yes. - My congratulations to the crank.
If you could come to help me, It would be great.
Thanks, I appreciate it, yes ?
Good bye.
- What did he say? - Can we do it in privacy?
I would like to have the opportunity
to defend myself in camera.
I understand that she's upset
but I don't accept having her treated disrespectfully
She made it very clear that it was only sex.
She ... was very interested in the idea.
But when Merritt comes,
Merritt and they are as boyfriends,
and then, when she leaves, Lychee and you go hand in hand,
- as boyfriends. - Wait, I don't deal with Lychee
As if she were my girlfriend. That's not...
She is my friend. I treat her as a friend and then ...
Sometimes we go to bed, but it's not like we're ...
boyfriends. I mean, that's not...
Well, she feels
what have you been trying like a girlfriend
She says that you buy her gifts,
that you are walking hand in hand and you snuggle.
In agreement. Yes, It's true.
But that doesn't mean that ...
Nothing has changed of the original agreement
that we both made, so I don't understand why ...
- suddenly changed her behavior. - Good...
when Merritt comes and you have relationships
and Lichi ends up sleeping on the sofa
instead in the room with you ...
sometimes you can hear them
and that bothers her.
Clear.
Well I can certainly understand ...
how that would be hurtful ...
Listen to us.
I mean, we try ...
be silent
But ... I understand. I mean, I see why
that I would alter it.
Sorry.
I'm not the one who should receive your apology.
Clear.
Yes.
Good morning
I wanted to apologize for last night.
I'm so sorry...
everything that happened.
Don't be sorry. It's okay, with me.
I feel ...
You have had a relationships with her.
I like it.
You're not bad.
What I'm saying is that it was simply sex,
nothing more, something casual.
I still don't understand what it is, what you try to tell me
I need a marriage for immigration.
- Don't you? - Nerd.
- Yes. - Don't.
- Yes. - You need a job.
I work too hard for immigration.
Marriage makes immigration easy.
I make life easy for you.
- For me? - Yes. No?
You thought we weren't get married
just because I had relationships?
That's what you thought?
Only the question answers.
Okay?
The videos, Adrian. Adrian, the videos ...
Do you plan to make more videos? Yes ?
Lychee, you don't ...
Lychee, you don't have to do this, you know, don't you?
Are you going to tie her up, Adrian?
I'm not going to disappear, you know?
Lychee, if there is any problem,
Just call me, okay?
If you have any problem ...
That is a very ugly scene.
It seems to me that you really need to go away
and forget about this,
clarify your thoughts and maybe you'll be forgotten for all this.
What are we doing here?
- We are monitoring Lychee. - I know. Why?
To make sure if shet's okay.
I realize that all this seems to be crazy,
but...
You know, I feel like maybe ...
I made a mistake leaving it ...
Do you hear that?
Is it?
They see us?
Friends?
Friends, come on, go away from here.
Go Go.
Out of here. Out, out.
It isn't healthy. It isn't healthy at all.
What kind of damage do you talk about? Do you physically abstain from it?
Can you call her during the day?
Why don't you do it? Call her once a week,
when you know that she isn't, and ask her how she is.
- I don't want to confuse her. - Why?
You think if you call her, she'll believe that you are interested in her again?
I think you're interested in it again.
And you're afraid to admit it.
Yes.
It's confusing. One day I tell myself: "It's over.
I'll never see Lychee again.
I will stop making the movie today and everything will be over. "
And the next day,
I appear at Adrian's house,
Do you know? Y...
I care about her.
If you think it is fine, I would like ...
come and visit you a couple of times per week
and make sure you're okay.
I'm fine.
I would like to make sure of it,
Okay?
Could I judge for myself?
In agreement.
For six weeks, Andrew is seen with Lychee
while Adrian is working.
It's fine, nothing bad.
What does "like a Cuba" mean?
- Good... - Like a Cuba?
"Like a Cuba" is when have you drunk so much
that you're ... drunk, you know?
- It means very drunk. - T ?
No, I don't, but ... Yes, sometimes.
Maybe tonight really let's get ...
- Yes. - I have to go home.
Lychee is married to Adrian and ...
act as if you were
The good wife, but when she leaves,
and she's working, she and I we spend time together.
I feel weird walking
with another man's wife,
but she isn't in a real marriage,
and what she and I have it's ... it's ...
is special.
Stop breathing on me. You are breathing on me.
I can't concentrate.
- That was your fault. - Won.
- Let me see that. - See what?
You have the same in both dolls, like that.
Are you still doing them?
I make video.
How does this work for the police? What does she do?
She puts the metal in her hand.
And always... Is she the police?
- And do you have to be arrested? - You as a policeman now.
Is nothing.
You have an idea how you are fucked up What is your life?
The way you live it isn't normal.
- I'm good. - No, you're not good.
I'm really worried about Lychee,
and this arrangement that we have now,
only ...
it doesn't work for me,
so I realized that I have to do something
to change it soon.
What is your team of favorite football?
- It's the Miami Dolphins. - Dolphins.
And the song of the Miami Dolphins she says:
Good.
I just want you to tell me what is today?
- Sunday, August ...? - Three.
Sunday, August 3, yes. And I want you to remember that day
why...
Well, I want to ask you ...
to come back ... come back to ...
to move with me
As a friend?
- I knew you'd say it, no. - I don't need a friend.
No, not as a friend. Actually I ask you
to be...
my wife.
So...
t ...
Would you marry me?
Put it in writing.
In writing?
So if I accept I'll put it in writing,
Then ...
yes?
I'll promise to marry you.
Well, come on.
Very well.
- Is that all? - Don't.
I should give you a warning.
What the fuck is that?
- Tell me, what the fuck is this? - Nothing.
- Go down to the cellar. - Don't.
Come on ... enough.
Enough.
We are going.
I spoke with the other lawyer this morning,
I demand to respond for divorce.
They say that the video was made voluntarily, that Lichi was ...
an active participant.
Good...
What can we do to ...
make all this go?
The other part suggested
that we could pay.
Whatever is needed.
You know, I thought
- I should tell you. - Yes ?
- So I'm telling you. - Anything else, Andrew?
Only don't ...
I want to be resentments among us.
I only ...
You know, maybe, eventually ...
we could be friends.
Yes, of course, go
and she can make us dinner. What do you think?
- I'm scared. - No, you don't have anything
to be scared of. She will adore you.
She likes them all those who are pretty,
so she will love you.
It's very hollow. Only appearances matter to you,
so I'll think you're very beautiful,
and it will be fine.
T .
It's my son, the director of documentaries
Hello, honey. It's so good to see you.
Stop being false, It's natural.
- Trash. - This's Lychee ...
- Hi, Lichi. ... your brand new wife.
- It's really a pleasure to meet you. - Lichi Gurland.
- Do you speak English? - A little.
Little, ah, very good.
Come, join us, take a seat.
This is for you.
A wedding gift, to give you Welcome to the family.
- What's that? - It's a certificate.
For...
a beauty salon, So you can...
Oh, for the hair.
I love you very much but I have to be honest with you.
Basically I think she is a geisha
who takes care and cleans the house.
I don't agree with that evaluation.
She is a servant. Disc lpame, a maid you're fucking
Sorry. A geisha has more education about the methods of this .
I don't appreciate the way you are treating her.
I don't appreciate the way he you are speaking.
I don't appreciate those gifts. You're insulting, bad taste.
Why can't you be normal, good with her?
- This is the person I love. - Andrew...
I'm glad for you.
I hope this works.
- Do you mean it? - Don't.
A rare relationship?
Yes ... you're like him ...
You're like a puppet, aren't you?
And your mother does ...
And you do ...
- Mommy, kiss-kiss, mommy. - Yes, Mommy.
Puppet.
I know that my mother can be difficult,
but I think that due to time they will come to love each other.
She pretends to like me ...
I pretend she likes me.
Okay?
In agreement.
Hi.
Can I see that? Excuse me.
- Hi, honey. - Have you given her a kiss?
Kiss.
Good bye.
Can you show me the rest of your pigs?
This is Charlie pig, This is Lulu sow,
she is Peter pig, Jack and Jill,
and little pig Mo,
That's ... Rebecca.
It's Rebecca, Becca.
That's Peter, That's Billy,
she is Jennifer and that's Stevie.
That's Dancer ... the dancer show
The little pig is reached ... I call him Bank pig.
That's gymnast Nadia show.
Pig birthday, Nina show, Kendall show,
Be pork and Buck.
This is Earl ... Count of Pig,
take care of all the pigs
- Takes care of them. - Why pigs?
I like pork. Pig is most beautiful animal.
- And the dogs? They are very beautiful. - Cute dogs.
Pig cutest.
And the puppies? Nothing is more nice than a puppy.
Carchorritos cuter than pork,
but more beautiful lech puppy
Good deal.
Don't you think maybe ...
Do you have too many pigs?
How many pigs are too many?
- All these, I would say. - I like pork.
- All these pigs are too many. - Pigs makes me happy.
My house is covered in pigs at this time.
- So you don't want me happy? - No, I didn't say that,
but there must be a commitment of some kind
and I feel like this is ...
- a pig hut. - This house doesn't fill with pig.
I have many pigs, but even more so.
Then you tell me to wait for more pigs?
Maybe?
I have a proposition
where we only have four or five pigs out at once,
and we keep the rest of the saved pigs.
- And later... - Don't.
I don't buy pork to keep. Pig doesn't like to be kept.
Pigs don't have to be kept all the time.
We will rotate them weekly.
What does "rotate" mean? I didn't understand.
I like how they are.
Don't touch my pig, yes ?
I think there is something very stupid about spending so much ...
to waste so much money on pigs
It's my money, isn't it?
It's my monthly payment. Dices what do you want to spend?
- That's what you say ... - Yes.
... No, Andrew? - Yes, of course.
- Play it however you want, but ... - I do.
I don't expect you to be an idiot when you spend your money
- and spend it all on pigs. - Idiotic?
- I don't think it's smart ... - You call me an idiot?
I think it's not very smart
spend all that money on pigs.
No, I don't think it's a good idea.
I think it's a good idea for me. For me it's a good idea
I earned these money, I work for you
I earn the monthly payment, I say I spend them as I want.
I want to spend on pork, yes ?
I can't ... I can't stand it.
I can't stand it, your porn movie.
- Okay? - What does that have to do with anything?
I do't have so much porn
I don't have so much porn, how do you have pigs?
I love her, and I want this to work, so ...
It seems that you should get used to it to live with pigs.
Yes.
Lychee and I weren't there communicating very well lately,
and everything she does, she's talking on the phone.
She recorded some of his phone conversations,
and I want you to tell me what it is saying about our relationship.
- What does it say about me and ... - In agreement.
Something about...
then Spike really loves Buffy.
Buffy really doesn't like it, Spike,
but Spike loves Buffy really, really.
Do you have any idea what he's talking about?
From the program "Buffy La Vampire Slayer ".
Clear.
What are you doing?
I have been invited to speak in my alma mater.
Where is Lychee?
In the apartment.
I think this is really a good opportunity for ...
- Let's spend time separated. - Why?
We discussed last week ...
It wasn't cute.
Andrew?
I'm not going to... I'm not going to talk
of this now.
But Andrew, when we get married,
you promised to be a good husband,
you promised to take care of Lychee,
and you promised to have children.
- No? - I didn't break any of those promises.
- I just said I don't want a baby now. - But where is the baby?
- I said I don't want a baby now. - When?
That's what I said.
Don't you know that whole life is not a honeymoon, Andrew?
- Yes, it's very obvious. - Time to start kids now.
Obv ... what is this?
I'm not ready to have this discussion right now, yes ?
But watch me. Look. Andrew?
Lychee doesn't cook, first she boils.
You have a lot of time to have a baby, yes ? You're crazy
- Are you a doctor? - You're acting crazy
- at this time. - Are you a doctor?
- Answer me. - No, Lychee, I'm not a doctor.
- That's right. I know my body. - I'm not a doctor.
Said burn yes: "Man without children
- It's not a man. " - It's a great saying.
You aren't a man
T senorita. That's it.
T senorita.
Let me ask you something.
I ask questions today.
- Why would anyone want ...? - I want baby.
- Why would anyone want ...? - I want to drink, to say.
Why would someone want a baby? with a damn crazy like you ?
You crazy. I want baby.
- Who's the crazy one? - You .
- Who's the crazy one? - You crazy little lady.
- Who's the crazy one? - You .
I want to drink. You say I can have a baby.
You don't give me a baby. How many times I must say I want to drink?
God, I want baby.
I can't wait to show you these sequences
so you can see that this is ridiculous ...
- I want baby. ... that you see now.
- Not man. - I want to...
- I want baby. - Let me ... go to the other room
- And leave me alone there. - Why?
- Take this and crack from here. - Stop here.
- Why would anyone want ...? - I want baby.
- Why would anyone want ...? - I want to drink, to say.
Why would someone want a baby? with a damn crazy like you ?
You crazy. I want baby.
Huck, there's someone there in front.
I just want to say ... I know the documentary isn't finished
and I think it's good, because in that end ...
I know it's not the end, but definitely don't finish it like that,
leaving Lychee as the villain.
I'm surprised that someone can sympathize with that behavior.
Raise your hand. How many of you believe
that the relationship will last?
How is it that every time I call
Sound 10 times before you attend? HOTEL ROOMS
I call long distance.
I know it's a long distance, but the call on hold leaves
that you can have two telephones both,
and later...
you choose the conversation what do you want.
So you don't get lost no call.
I choose long distance.
Listen out... while I was coming to ac
I thought a lot
I know this probably isn't the best way to do it,
but sometimes,
when marriages pass for difficult periods,
the couples are separated.
This is... It is something that's ... it is false.
That's not bad ...
cold, like you .
I ... I don't understand.
I think maybe ...
we made a mistake.
You're wrong.
Oh, honey.
The door was open as well
and ... there were no paintings on the walls.
All the paintings of my mother they disappeared.
This was my favorite, "Fireworks of Venice".
Then I noticed that all his things had disappeared.
Then I discovered ...
this note.
- What does it say? - I have no idea
of what he says in the note because I don't speak your stupid damn language.
Is it in Chinese?
"Andrew:
You don't know what you want.
Please don't follow me. Lychee. "
Did she took anything else?
The reason why today we rent a camera
because...
when she left, He took the m .a.
That's all.
It was in the box in the closet.
Now it disappeared, so ...
She decided to take it with her. I ... you know.
Can I do something for you?
I guess what you're doing.
Don't escape from someone's apartment
while they are traveling. It's crazy
I realize that it is what she did with Adrian,
but I certainly never thought that would happen to me?
Why are you better than him?
Well, I have this opinion for me.
Yes, I'm better than Adrian.
Andrew spent the next eight months trying to locate Lychee.
Their attempts failed.
The last eight months have been very difficult for me.
I really couldn't ...
work on the film and ...
my personal life has been ...
a mess
And then I receive this call
from Adrian.
Mai Lee ... a girl of 27 years ...
it's her.
- This is crazy. - It's her, it's her.
Again in the catalog. Now she calls herself Mai Lee.
"Never married, affectionate.
I love children, I hate snake.
I hope to love us for all our lives. "
"Never married,
Affectionate
I love children, I hate snake.
I hope to love all of our lives. "
Yes, I'm angry.
You've talked about it With your mother?
- Yes. - What did she say?
She...
I enjoyed the opportunity
to say that she was right.
He rejoiced.
- And will you do something about it? - What can I do?
- I guess I've come to see you ... - See what?
... what can I do about it? - Why don't you go ahead?
You are a big boy. That's it.
But she took my things and ...
They were married. She compensated. Sorry.
That's what the law sees. You have to mature.
Welcome to the real world.
There is part of me that still loves her.
Yes, and a part of me still loves her
Every relation is like a circle, Okay?
You start to draw the circle, yes ?
And before it was completed, she left.
And I can only complete it
if I come. And I will.
And you think I need to complete my circle?
With your revenge.
I really don't want revenge, I just want a closure.
All right, you'll have your closure and I'll have my revenge.
And it doesn't bother you that I think you are disgusting?
No, I also believe you are disgusting too.
Why ...? No, wait. Why am I disgusting?
Why? Don't get me started.
Let's go do this.
Adrian came up with a plan.
I agreed to execute it.
I added things,
solved some of the problems
and let's do it together.
I mean, I'm not stupid, I know ...
This seems crazy.
I know Adrian isn't the best guy in the world,
I don't like,
or I enjoy your company. I don't want to be your friend,
but I have done many documentaries
and worked with worse people than you.
And if that is what is needed
so that I see again to Lychee,
so for me it's fine.
Remember that I told you what you should say
if it seemed to me that you have gone too far?
- And would you do the same for me? - Yes.
I must ... you think ...
that maybe you're going too far?
I ... she raped me, You know, I ...
I really don't need you to bother me about it now.
I just want you to support me.
No, I'll. I support you completely if it's what you decided to do.
Well, then call your dad.
- Pap ? - Yes.
- Talk Huck, hello. - Hi, how are you?
Well, how are you? team member
Listen, my friend has marital problems.
tell your friend "Welcome to the club".
Well ... I was wondering if you could do us a favor
- Whatever you need. - This is Huck's daddy?
Yes, it's Huck's dad, Didn't you know?
- Don't. - What we are going to do
is to make him look more wealthy of what he is.
Although he's not really a poor, we will make you look like a millionaire.
"Dear Mai Lee:
- I saw your picture in the Para so Catalog. " - Slowly.
"I saw your picture" ...
I think every part of the plan
it was specially conceived with our experience in mind.
She had said that hates the cold,
so we invented a type in Florida.
She said that we are both immature ,
so we invented someone that was mature.
Hopefully, it'll work.
- Thank you. - Good bye, thanks.
After three months of correspondence,
Mai Lee (Lychee) agrees to meet with "Curt Botko" in Miami.
Andrew and Adrian will arrive two days before her.
I just want to warn you
that my father is a bit weird
It's supposed to be a little weird. I asked for a wife by mail, didn't I?
- How normal should this can be? - True.
Listen, I ...
I don't want you to screw up.
- Hello. - What happened?
Hi, can I go?
- What sor ... - Hello, mam .
Each time you are higher, and me, lower.
- Did your father knew that they would come? - Nice to meet you.
Yes, I was supposed to warn you.
Carry on, your father will never change.
- Never. - Pap , how are you?
Hello Hello. Come here ...
give me a hug, yes ?
Why didn't you tell him what we have come for?
- To tell you the truth, I forgot. - And you don't know.
Explain them and they would come,
but I didn't know if it was Wednesday.
I just want to make it clear.
- This is very important for this plan. - Clear.
- Because you're the bait. - I'm the bait.
- We'll use you to catch her. - I caught her.
- You're going to look for her at the airport. - Yes.
- You'll bring her to the marina. - To the navy.
What will happen on the ship?
We just want to make sure
that we can talk to you in one place where she can't escape.
- Jos . - Hi, Curt, nice to see you.
- Hi, what's up? - Well, how's everything going?
- I want to introduce you to some friends. - Come on guys.
I can't believe I'm introducing you to Jos Canseco.
- This is the platform. - Here, no?
Well it's open, very clear.
There's a cellar downstairs, isn't it?
If you want to put something there and you lock it up,
- Can we do it from the outside? - Of course.
Yes, you can close it from the outside. This boat is very modern.
- We appreciate you lending it to us. - He used to hate
send you to the bank, because you had a big hand.
My father loved you. I loved you.
- We need to work in ... - I want the photo.
I'll not move until you bring the photo.
- It has been understood. - Very well.
And if we want to pretend that the boat lost power?
- Do you understand? - They should disconnect the generators,
- But why would they want to do it? - Well ... for no reason.
Great. Please make sure to bring it back whole.
I'm doing this against my common sense, but...
The ship'll stay here.
Well, they'll stay here, but you've asked strange questions ...
you have a box where it comes a mannequin and ...
- I didn't ask. - Lack of power, things like that.
- Please treat the boat well. - Nobody will get hurt.
We will only invite a friend and ...
- We'll hang out - What blue eyes you have.
I bet you get women like nothing.
- Good... - Adrian, enough.
I know I owe you a big favor,
but make sure the boat come back whole.
- Yes, yes, sir. - Please, take it.
The most important
is projecting that you have a lot of money.
- What are you working? - I'm ... in advertising.
No, in advertising no. We already talked about that.
We already wrote the letters, I showed them to you.
You told them where he was working.
I can't say that I am a politician.
- Because that's not ... - It's not an adventure.
Risky investments.
- I am a risk investor. - Yes, risk investor.
- I'll not forget it. - You are a risk investor.
Say it a couple of times: "I'm a risk investor."
- Risk investor. - I am a risk investor.
- I am a risk investor. - I am a risk investor.
- I like risk investments. - You must remember it, be alert.
Otherwise, you'll ruin our whole plan
- You didn't understand it well. - He must insert it to me.
- You have to press the button ... - Yes, here.
- You got it, huh? - That's it.
What do you think? I start to look like ...
- a human being? - You look better with the hairdressing.
Let's see what's happening.
Now we are ready for the camera on the cap.
- In agreement. - Madame.
All right. Now look to Luke.
You have some details about the marriage you can give us?
Just don't live them together, unless they argue.
If they never argue, probably they are ...
How long will they last together? Six months? A year?
- With whom? - With ... when they get married.
If they never argue with husband or wife.
- Yes, we argue. Necessarily. - I know we argue,
But you think they would continue together if they didn't?
- It's boring. - Bored, the word that didn't come out.
- It's so boring. - "Bored", yes.
You have to ... fight to have emotion.
And then, sometimes, when a relationship ends,
- it's better to keep going or ... - It's in you
You make the choice. They are responsible for their life.
- That's. - Either accept it or not.
And if that woman lied to you?
And it'll take all your money and keep lying?
- Don't cry, don't cry. - I'm not crying.
- Everything is fine. - Let's go.
Sure?
Everything is great, we finished, Curt is ready.
We'll put it in order. Let's go, we have to do a lot.
Adrian, come on.
WELCOME MAI LEE Doors C1-C9 - Parking
ARE YOU WITH ME?
? I waited all day?
? And here I am?
? And there you are?
? Waiting all day. ?
I tell you, it looks good.
Hello, Mai Lee.
How was your little flight? Come on, you look good.
Come on, your dress, That clothes are beautiful.
Heavens, I tell you.
You look good.
I think they want us to go to the marina.
There is a yacht that I want to show you,
you'll not believe it
And later... give me a kiss, yes ?
Let's go...
- What the fuck is going on? - Give me another kiss.
Give me another kiss.
Pass.
Ready? Here we go
To the south.
Your dad doesn't drive much, does he?
I'm not supposed to go there
according to the map.
- Hit the horn. - But if I do, she ...
[talking.....talking]
All right, let's cross the street.
I told him a thousand times:
"Go straight from the airport to the navy. "
I invested all this time and all this money
so that your damned father could lunch for free.
Can I talk to you for a second? I would need a big favor.
There's a guy in there with cap cap.
Thank you.
You know, Mai Lee, I did a lot of nude photography.
That's how I made my fortune.
Would you like to do ...? Excuse me, how?
He said he would finish eating ...
and the dessert...
and maybe I'll drink coffee.
And then he said he would be ready to start
the "Operation Hong Kong Phooey".
Your dad said that after the dessert and the coffee,
will be ready to start the "Operation Hong Kong Phooey. "
"The Hong Kong Phooey Operation"? I don't know what that means.
Me neither.
You messed up. You hired this stupid fucker.
I told you that Curt was an idiot.
Damn stupid ass. Doesn't know what the fuck he is doing.
Don't know if it's Tuesday or Friday.
Let's cancel everything. I'm sick of this shit, fed up.
I'm noticing you that from now on, I don't support you anymore.
I ... don't know where'll you go?
Look now. How is it supposed that we do this?
You're not using your brain
Come here, you damn son of a bitch.
Come here.
I hate you to die.
I'm glad it's over.
Do you like body painting?
There's ... wait.
Where are they?
- I see her, I see her. - Fuck, I lost them.
- Hey hey. - There they are.
Your dad is a fucking pervert.
List for wok and roll?
Why don't you go
and say: "Here I'm, let's talk"?
Forget about all the other.
I wish all this was more intimate, you know?
If we weren't all of us, and we were just me and her, you know?
It's a bit late for that.
Yes.
Hello?
- Open the door. - Who is it?
Room service.
Room service? What do they want?
- I just want to talk to you, Lychee. - We want to talk now.
- Adrian ... Adrian. - Mai Lee, what are you doing here?
Only ... Adrian, give me ... allow me a minute I just want ...
- What is this? ... talk to him alone.
Do you want to stop interrupting me?
Just let me speak for a second, yes ?
I'm willing to open
and to tell you that I missed you.
I missed you. I made mistakes.
And maybe you don't go to be happy ...
today or tomorrow, but this is a kind of thing
which we are going to work together,
and it's going to be ... incredible.
I want you back,
and I want to have a baby with you.
Andrew, you loser. Unsafe, hidden behind a camera.
- Stop saying loser, yes ? - Why?
I don't even think you understand what that means.
- I understand you're you. - I'm not a loser, okay?
I have achieved many things in my life...
- Like what? ... of what I should be proud of.
And ... I'll not give you a list of ... what is great about me,
but you would also be lucky to be with me, okay?
So I don't need you to call me loser. I'm just saying that
I don't think that you think, I'm a loser.
I think you want to hurt me, and that's fine,
- and there are things ... I wanted to hurt you. - I think you're a loser.
Why are you here?
Why did you come to Florida?
I'm finished with you.
I'm finished with Adrian, with you,
with Lewis, with all of you
- Who is Lewis? - Another loser.
Is it enough for you, yes ?
- You married someone named Lewis? - What's your problem?
Who is Lewis?
Another loser like you, I said.
He really wasn't interested to solve anything ...
- with me. - Who?
- Lychee. - Oh, is it called Lichi?
- Is not it's Mai Lee? - Mai Lee, Lichi ... whatever.
- Needs to... - Is not, it's Suzie?
Mai Lee? Lichi?
Suzie? Maria?
Close your ass
- Collaborate. - That's not how a lady is treated.
- Don't dive. Don't lie. - You, sir, you're fake.
Liar. You could have been a queen, didn't you know?
Would you like to be pushed tin the pool?
If you come back here, you will be knocked down.
Luke?
Here you go
And? Danny, boy.
Here you are, Charles.
And Andrew?
Here you go
It isn't the end you had imagined.
There was an error calculation from my part.
She hates me.
So ...
I would like to make a toast.
Although things didn't come out
exactly as planned, it was a success in general.
What a great country,
in which a son of a common bitch like me
can take a fox "taimada" like Lichi
and send her back home embarrassed, ashamed.
And in second place,
I was able to meet one of my children of all times.
I love this guy, and my father loved him,
Jos Canseco.
He is the first man in giving 40 homers,
and steal 40 bases in a single season.
By Jos Canseco.
- And it's my birthday. - Happy birthday.
This is Mai Lee.
Mai Lee was doing padtha bread
for the birthday of Lychee,
but they didn't have refrigerated it
- and 12 people died of ... - Sorry.
It's fine, it's fine.
Bebe Sunkist.
Keep stirring.
Mail.Order.Bride.2003.1080p.BluRay.H264.AAC-Eng