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Well, I thought that I should bring something.
So on my day off, I searched through the Tokyu Hands store from top to bottom.
I looked all over.
"Why did I buy this?"
I bought a couple of things that left me thinking that.
That's how much this screws with the heads of us comedians.
This damn project.
Everyone's a professional.
When it comes to what's funny,
everyone's already seen it, and thought of it, themselves.
Right?
"Why would you do something so unfunny at a time like this?"
"Why would you ruin the atmosphere like that for us?"
I think they have a better chance if I'm left thinking that.
That's what I'll laugh at.
But you can't...
There's no... This is too much. And it shouldn't be!
-Understood. -Sorry.
Sorry.
We can take everyone out at once, in one clean hit, can't we?
I think we might see that this time.
That just might happen.
PLAYERS DEFEATED SO FAR: KUKKY
You've had a lot of fun here.
Wow.
Red!
PLAYERS DEFEATED SO FAR: MIKIO DATE
Date.
Red card!
That's harsh.
It's time to restart.
-We have bread. -Yeah, I'm getting a little hungry.
-I need some stamina. -I'll have some, too.
-Which bread? -Is bread enough?
Do you have to hide your nipples?
-I'm shy about them. -About your nipples? Why?
I don't want them hanging out.
-Kobayashi hasn't laughed yet, right? -That's right.
I haven't laughed at all.
None of them have even come close.
-Nothing has come close? -Nothing.
You keep positioning yourself in places where nobody else goes.
That's not true.
-Toos! -Toos!
-I'm coming. -Sit down!
Hang on. Am I the only one without any cards?
-I don't have any either. -Me neither.
-You have one. -Really?
You do.
-I just yelled. -Really?
I just went "weh weh."
-Only I got a card that time. -That's right.
Is Kasuga card-free, too?
-The Kasuga doesn't have any yet. -The Kasuga?
How do you fold these again?
Oh, I remember. Like this.
You're tsuru-tsuru.
Brings back memories, right?
-Not you. -I wasn't talking to you.
-That has to be out. -No doubt about it.
No way.
That wasn't right. We need an inquiry.
-Why do we need an inquiry? -About what?
An inquiry into what?
Hey! Quit screwing around!
-I was just folding a paper crane tsuru. -A tsuru?
Do such coincidences really happen?
That was Goto.
But I have absolutely no idea what you laughed at.
Please have a look at that.
I said Kasuga's skin was smooth, "tsuru-tsuru,"
when Iwahashi was making a paper crane, "tsuru."
A tsuru and tsuru-tsuru.
-You seemed perfectly fine here. -I was perfectly fine.
You're tsuru-tsuru.
Brings back memories, right?
-Not you. -I wasn't talking to you.
That was amazing.
That was amazing!
-That was like a miracle. -Let me see...
-I was going to give you a red card. -Please don't.
Please, wait. I don't think that deserves red.
I'll give you an orange card.
I have never seen such a coincidence in my entire life.
What were the chances of that?
-This is scary. -I'm lucky I didn't notice.
That was so funny. It was a close one.
-I really need to eat something. -Me, too.
-Should I make something? -Who's a good cook?
Who can cook?
There is a ton of konjac here.
-Both normal konjac and konjac jelly. -There is.
-Kasuga, continue on with that thing. -What thing?
-Where you had the tip of it hanging out. -The tip?
-Look at that muscle. -He's tight.
-That's a beautiful body. -His butt is all muscle.
Beautiful.
Like this?
Wow.
He's using that?
That's a lot of skin.
-Is that just foreskin? -Yes. It's just skin.
-That's a lot of skin. -It's long.
Did you work on enlarging that?
No, I didn't work on it.
How can you eat that right now?
I'm totally fine.
-Really? -Totally.
-Try eating it up close. -That's no problem at all.
Get really close.
I am fine with this sort of thing.
How can you eat that while looking at him?
Kasuga, turn around.
How can he eat that?
Give it a lick.
I'm not going to lick it. Why say that?
-You sure have a lot of skin leftover. -Can I try that?
-Sure. -Let's do it together.
Show us.
How can they do that?
That is amazing. That is no easy feat.
-That's brave. Look at them. -They're so mentally strong.
Amazing.
-That's even more similar. -What is it?
-A pickled plum. -What will you do with that?
-You can do this? -Yes. They are two different things.
They're so close.
He's gone downstairs. It looks like his balls.
-Akiyama? -It's Akiyama.
That had to be Akiyama.
-He came and laughed all by himself. -What was that?
His privates were...
I lost it the moment he flashed his privates.
-I thought I'd be okay. -But not when you got up close.
But I'm usually okay. I'm totally fine with stuff like that.
That's the worse thing to do. You came by yourself.
I'm fine with these things. I wasn't worried.
I'm okay with these things.
But his foreskin was even more impressive than I imagined.
Akiyama.
It's his first card.
-Yellow. -Right. I totally deserve it.
Akiyama?
He jumped into that by himself. I take such efforts into consideration.
-You need to earn points like that. -Damn.
But be careful. Jumping in can backfire.
-It was a nice aggressive approach. -It was good offense.
-You've really been on the offense, too. -Really? Thank you.
But you have zero points.
That means I'm not funny at all.
-I couldn't handle that. -I had no problem.
You were so close.
-Can you show us again before the restart? -Before we start.
-You don't want to see that. -All of it?
-Before we start. -Okay.
Let's laugh at it once.
-That is crazy. -What is that?
-Do you actually have meat in there? -Of course I do.
-Show us again. -Where is it?
It's right here.
Kobayashi laughed, right?
I didn't laugh.
-It's Kobayashi. -That was definitely you.
-We started? -I didn't laugh.
-It was definitely you. -I didn't laugh.
That was Kobayashi, right?
That was definitely him.
He looked down.
-RG laughed, too. -Look at him.
-It's RG! -I heard a laugh.
-He laughed first. -I heard RG's voice.
-Not Kobayashi? -Me?
-I heard RG's voice. -He guffawed.
But...
To be honest,
it was Kobayashi.
However, what's the story with RG?
-I heard a voice. It was a laugh. -Really?
-He sprayed a laugh. -No, no.
-We'll have to look into that. -I'm not sure.
It's hard to tell whether Kobayashi actually laughed.
-I almost laughed, but I held onto it. -No, Koba was...
Let's have another look.
Should we look at Kobayashi first?
-Show us again. -Where is it?
It's right here.
-He's smiling. -That's a laugh, right?
But that sound. That "bu-bu-bu." I didn't make it.
Really? Who was it?
Maybe that was RG.
-Me? -Can we see RG?
-Show us again. -Where is it?
It's right here.
See?
I did it.
-He laughed more than Kobayashi. -He did.
-You're right! -Yes.
Which means RG gets
a red card.
RG, red card!
Scary!
-Kobayashi, yellow card! -Okay. I accept that.
That got Kasuga quite a few points.
-That does deserve points. -But RG went on the offense so much.
Yay.
Now he's leaving, he's a sorry sight.
-You're a zombie now. -RG's zombie will be quite a threat.
That's true. RG's zombie will be scary.
-I can try a lot more tricks. -These zombies are scary.
I only got to do one-third... Only one-quarter of what I prepared.
I brought a lot more props.
There were so many more things that I wanted to try.
But when somebody shows you
a dick like that...
It's right here.
That was a dirty move from Kasuga.
Kasuga hadn't been on the offense much.
You could even say he was running away from the fight.
But he came back in a big way.
That's an important lesson. That's how it is in show business.
How far can you stretch it?
-The tip? -The skin.
The skin. Well...
-Wow! -Amazing.
Try putting this inside.
-See? It stretches. -Even more!
-Can you put the toy curry in there? -Inside.
-This curry. -Inside my skin?
I don't think that it will fit inside. Just a minute.
That was amazing.
-But I think that will fit, actually. -Right?
It does fit.
What is it?
It went in.
Let go.
I got him!
-Oh, my. -He's in trouble.
That was...
-That was too much. -That was...
-That was a full-on laugh. -It was.
No doubt about it.
A full-blown laugh.
That really was too much.
It came out like, "Here you go."
-Nice and slow. -Yeah.
Why did it come out at that speed?
It was like one of those drawers that slowly slides out by itself.
We need to look at a number of things.
Firstly, Kobayashi.
But Mr. Matsumoto...
Can you please look at how fast it comes out?
A bowl of curry rice will come out.
Here.
It fits inside. Without a problem.
-It's curry rice. -He's...
That's too much.
Nobody can keep a straight face at that!
-You have to laugh, right? -That was so unfair.
Let's take another look.
Let go.
However, Kasuga was laughing, too.
I was?
Let go.
I got him.
Oh, my.
-Didn't Kobayashi laugh first? -No, no.
-You were laughing as it came out. -As it came.
-For real? -That's tough.
That can happen, too.
So, Kobayashi gets an orange card.
That's right.
And Kasuga gets
a yellow card.
-I'm on yellow now? -It's his first.
However, it's not just a yellow card. You scored a point, too.
Okay.
But that was too much.
When you get served curry at that speed...
I was wondering which would come first. The rice, or the curry.
Thank you.
-We're in trouble. -Yeah, we are in trouble.
I'd like you all to look at it as closely as I did.
That's fine with me. I can look at it close up.
But no matter how funny it is...
If you get close enough, it looks like it's in slow motion.
Goto can choose which food goes inside.
Kasuga, how is the condition of your skin?
I'm ready when you are.
Will this fit?
That's a bit...
But I'll give it a try. I hadn't done curry before either.
Of course not.
Let's stand where we'll each have an equal view.
-Okay. -Should I go over there?
Wherever you want.
But it's not fair. Goto knows which food is inside.
-That's true. -It won't be as funny.
-But he doesn't know its speed. -Hang on.
This is intense.
Let's survive this.
We survived the curry.
I wonder...
-What does that mean? -Are you in bad shape?
No, I just...
Maybe I should do it there.
-Go for it. -Okay.
-All together. -I'm not sure about this.
I may not be able to recreate that speed.
-It's already inside. -It is?
I've got a front row seat.
It's completely inside.
-It's inside. What is it? -There are corners.
What is that?
Let it out.
I'm not sure...
Okay. Here I go. I'm letting go now.
Huh?
Nothing is coming out.
Goto is close.
-It got stuck. -It's stuck!
Akiyama is in trouble, too.
I don't know where to flex.
Because I already let go, I can't touch it anymore.
Where should I flex?
Look at Akiyama.
-This is impossible. -No damn way!
-That was so funny. -That's not fair.
What is this?
Hey. Wait a minute.
That was too much.
It is impossible not to laugh.
But seriously. This is wrong.
Well...
To be honest, nearly all of you were laughing.
No, no.
-I didn't laugh. -I held it back.
But if we go down there, there will be no end.
So, the guy who stood out the most is out. Akiyama.
The thing is, I held onto it the whole time.
But then he started clenching his whole body.
-It wouldn't come out. -Nobody guessed it wouldn't come out.
Then he tried to push it out using his muscles.
Then an eel bento popped out!
Where should I flex?
Wait. Please.
That's not fair.
After all, an eel bento came out.
-It's impossible. -He definitely laughed.
Akiyama.
Orange card.
-Seriously. -We have to quit doing that.
He's right.
Shall we just do two more turns?
In the end, Kasuga's points just keep on piling up.
-Yay. -That's amazing.
-Thank you. -What a powerful weapon.
Okay.
-Let's change the line of attack. -All right.
-That was wrong. -We're tired of seeing dicks.
This sure shoots out a lot of water.
Is that a wet wipe?
Goto even comments on things like that?
He even talks about how the water comes out.
Your first try was amazing.
I could do it at the start.
What a sound.
-That was like The Drifters' jingle. -Way to go.
You're incredible.
-He's getting better and better. -You're improving.
-That's amazing. -What are you using this time for?
Wow! I'm such a quick learner!
This isn't the time for practicing the trumpet.
I don't get him.
My brain feels stiff. I'm going to do a Rubik's cube.
I'll boil this.
I'll boil something.
Pasta?
-It has to boil first. -I think it's...
Hey, that's not enough hot water.
Kinoshita sure likes that sort of thing.
What's with this?
Are you okay?
Say goodbye to him.
Sure.
He looked after you, right?
You're in his debt, right?
I don't know about that.
Sorry, but...
Who is that?
Is the deceased your son?
He's my son.
You owe him. Right, Iwahashi?
Yes.
Who else owes him?
Really?
-He's in heaven now. -Okay.
Would you like to share a few words?
-You owe him. -Sure.
Before your untimely passing,
you always invited me to join you, as unworthy as I was.
You always provided me with women. Thank you.
He's listening. I'm sure of it.
Iwahashi, would you like a word?
Yes.
Well...
Falling country people.
Anti-bacterial plastic case.
Shirokane birthday party.
Le couple.
Aung San Suu Kyi suit.
Justin Bieber party.
What are you talking about?
Aren't you saying goodbye?
-Thanks. -Say bye Japan.
Destiny.
My girl collection.
Traffic information.
-V-shot. -That's enough.
-I said enough! -What's wrong?
Aung San Suu Kyi. Keep on jumping.
Get away. Get away.
Just away.
Fine!
Fine.
He is such an idiot.
-My condolences. -Thank you.
Sorry about that.
Okay!
This bit's a great one.
Here it comes.
Let me taste this.
I'm going to see how this tastes.
I wonder.
Goto, how do you like your noodles?
-What? -Your noodles...
How do you like them?
-I like them al dente. -What an idiot.
He's such an idiot.
-You don't like them too soft? -Yeah.
You must have been hungry, Umemiya-san.
You're right.
But I really love seafood.
There's not much here, unfortunately.
You had a stern face there.
When you impersonate Umemiya, you get a stern expression.
Yes, I do.
You have to get into character, right?
Yes.
You must be full.
-I'm thirsty, actually. -Watching you eat has made me hungry, too.
-That happens, right? -Yeah.
You are so noisy.
I have to bite it off on the line.
As close as I can.
I have to bite as close to the line as possible.
I was a little off!
The devil told me to try again!
I have to bite right on the line.
With my teeth. On the border.
Just my teeth. On the line.
I went too far!
The devil's telling me to do it!
I will bite this exact spot with my front teeth.
Right here. With my teeth. Without sliding. A clean bite.
There's still chocolate!
Shut up.
The devil keeps talking! Let me try to negotiate!
Please wait, Devil!
Can you be a bit softer on me? The current rules are too tough.
Let's make a compromise.
Can you let me leave a tiny bit of chocolate?
No?
He said no!
Look at Kasuga.
Do that properly.
-Give it to me. -Really?
-It shouldn't be that difficult. -You aligned the plus with the plus!
Your duo is "Plus Minus," right?
Feel the way my muscles move!
This is full power!
My shoulder fell out. I'm gonna shrug. That hurts!
Why can't Plus Minus align the plus-minus properly?
You, of all people, should have no problems.
That's true.
He had the plus with the plus. The little bits that stick out.
We had a fight yesterday!
Who cares?
With your partner?
About what?
About our comedy act.
Well, since he's not here...
A man who stops the Yurikamome train
You stop conversations.
You fought with your partner? That's what duos do.
Even Kinoshita has fights. He's been around longer. It happens.
But you don't fight anymore, right?
Of course we do.
What do you fight about?
Well, you know.
Our most recent fight was...
Um...
You guys don't fight.
No...
-He has nothing to tell. -You don't have to pretend that you fight.
No, we do.
But I guess that wasn't really a fight.
You don't have to get that specific.
Well, one day
I went on one of those entertainment news shows.
Then on a different show that he was on, he referred to a comment that I had made,
and he made fun of me.
How pathetic.
He's brutal.
What a pathetic story.
He really made fun of me.
Wasn't that pathetic?
I don't think "pathetic" is...
Who's this?
What's this? You made pasta?
It's nothing special. Would you like some?
Eat up.
You want me to?
Okay.
Thank you.
You've become a great cook.
Thank you.
Who is it?
Nice to meet you all.
I am Yuriko Koike.
Thanks.
Did you all vote for me?
I'll be wearing "Koike Green" all the way.
-Are you Yuriko Koike? -Yes.
-The governor of Tokyo? -Yeah.
-Are you moving the markets to Toyosu? -Not anymore.
-I thought you had settled on Toyosu. -Yeah.
I changed it again. Keep up the support.
-Really? Where will it go? -Jakuzure.
Keep up the support.
Come on.
He laughed.
Why would you build a fish market there? Jakuzure? I don't think so.
-No! Damn it! -Why build it in Jakuzure?
-Near the underpass? -Damn it!
I shouldn't have asked him!
-It's your fault for asking. -That was a clean hit.
That was a fair and honest duel.
It cut straight to the bone.
This sucks. No way!
Goto, red card!
-For real? -That was a nice counter-attack.
-I thought you had settled on Toyosu. -Yeah.
I changed it again. Keep up the support.
-Really? Where will it go? -Jakuzure.
Really?
A million yen?
You're out.
Nothing can be done.
-Let's go to the zombie room. -Oh, that's right.
Damn! Couldn't I have held it in? No, that was impossible.
That was disappointing.
He got me.
That space really drives you crazy.
It's pure chaos in there.
That was one million yen!
Of course, I'm sad about the million yen,
but on top of that,
I wanted to see the view in that room a few hours from now.
Let's go.
Are we on?
We are.
Are we halfway there?
-Half of the time has passed. -I mean the number of people.
Oh, that too.
Exactly half.
Having watched the show, things get really tough from here.
It's tough.
He's not welcome.
Let's do it.
-Sorry? -Let's do it.
How annoying.
Okay.
No one is watching them either.
They're almost all alone.
Who's going to laugh?
Everyone is over here.
That is going to hurt.
That's draining and painful.
Ouch.
-Ouch. -Ouch.
He's all red.
-They're still going. -That has to hurt.
Stop it!
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
Stop it! Stop it!
I may be in trouble.
Who was it? This is bad. Damn.
Was it me?
Did anybody else laugh?
-I didn't. -I didn't laugh.
Damn.
Do you have a card?
-I have one. -You do?
-Yes. I laughed at myself. -That's right.
This is bad.
Kasuga.
I couldn't hold it in.
Which means you get an orange card.
This is bad.
Stop it!
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
Stop it! Stop it!
What is that?
It's a device to make it bigger.
-Your dick? -Really?
I got it from a magazine that I write for.
Apparently it draws out the portion that's stuck deep inside.
Wow.
-There's a portion stuck inside? -It feels good, right?
Yes. There's friction.
Then we can't stop you.
-Okay, let's continue. -Right.
-Kinoshita, do you have a card? -Not yet.
-I don't have a card yet either. -Really?
-You too? -Surprisingly enough.
That's not good. I'm in trouble. Big trouble.
Whenever I go on TV,
I always shave the side of my head beforehand...
-You shave, right? -I do. But I didn't have time today.
So I came as I was.
But when I have hair here, my symptoms get worse.
I like to feel lighter.
If you don't mind, could you shave my hair on the sides?
-No problem. -You can do that? That's great.
Thank you.
-I shave myself once a week. -Really? Great.
-Thank you. -He shaves his own head.
I see.
My wife's at her parents' so she couldn't do it.
Are you saying that you have a wife?
-I have a wife. And two kids. -She must be crazy.
What was that?
He laughed in the middle of a normal conversation.
-What a waste. -You laughed. Completely.
-You lost concentration. -Damn!
"She must be crazy." That's nothing special.
I was so relieved when he took the blades, I relaxed like I do in my waiting room.
He said, "She must be crazy" and I went "ha ha!"
You explained that well.
I worked so hard. But I fell for this?
-That might be enough for an orange card. -What?
Please don't do that!
Let's take a look.
That was...
My wife's at her parents' so she couldn't do it.
Are you saying that you have a wife?
-I have a wife. And two kids. -She must be crazy.
Okay. Please be yellow!
That couldn't have been helped!
I realized right away.
Orange!
-You went that far. -I totally laughed.
Nobody even tried to make you laugh.
That was fapping.
You're right. Damn. I shall be more focused.
You fapped and blew your load.
That's his ecstasy.
Because you did it to yourself.
Here we go.
-So I deserved an orange card straight up? -I think that's the reason.
-You did laugh. -As an unbiased opinion?
So, where should I cut?
I have an undercut. I want it cut up to the edge.
-I want you to shave all the way around. -I see.
Sorry about this.
I want to feel lighter.
I don't feel myself otherwise. I always do this.
-Want to start at the back? -Yes. Thank you.
-It's pretty long. -It is, right?
He's cutting a lot.
Does he want it that short?
-Like this, right? -That short?
-Is the attachment on? -It's really short.
-Is the attachment on? -Attachment? Well...
It's what you gave me.
You took it off! You're shaving directly!
That's a monk thing! A monk thing!
As far as length is concerned!
The attachment...
I should've been clearer. It's my bad, too.
The attachment...
-He needs to make it even. -I have to, right?
Seriously?
-He's shaved quite a lot. -Or it would be weird.
That's short even for a monk.
-Well, it does feel better. -There is no other choice.
That feels better.
-Nice. That's a cleaner look. -It feels good!
It feels good just watching this.
How does that feel?
What do you think?
It looks great.
If you don't like it, you can cut more. What do you think?
It's a bit long all over.
-It looks a little heavy on top. -Heavy?
Could you make it a bit lighter?
-Are you sure this okay? -Yes.
-No continuity issues? -What do you mean?
-You're not shooting a drama series? -Nothing like that.
Isn't that a little rough?
That's a little...
That's scary.
It's a little long.
-That should look cleaner. -Thank you.
-He cuts with confidence. -Should you be cutting that much?
It looks nice.
-Isn't this... -It's good.
-It's not too much? -This matches the sides better.
It's not too much?
Not at all.
-It's not too much? -He's doing a great job.
Really?
You're cutting that much? Maybe we should...
That's a mess.
It's a mess?
You cut that much, but it's still a mess? Really?
-Let me cut here. -Where?
No, wait...
That's nice.
How about that?
-That looks much better. -Are you done?
-That feels good. -It's nice.
-Why does it feel this good? -It looks good.
Wow.
-How does it feel? -I feel a whole lot lighter, actually.
My hair...
What is this? My hair keeps falling out.
It's because he gave you a part down the middle.
-It's the hair he cut. -It's parted in the middle.
-I don't... -It's nice. You look like Eisaku Yoshida.
-Right? -"Mr. Part-Down-The-Middle."
-That brings back memories. -That really suits you.
-Want to play a card game? -A card game?
-Why not? -Sounds like fun.
-Just a little game. -That's a good idea.
Kasuga.
Are you ready?
Coming.
Did you buy those panties?
Yes, I bought them.
Are we doing something?
-We're going to play a card game. -Okay. Let's play.
A card game?
-Shall we? -Yes.
Sorry about that.
There are two sets of ten cards. Iwahashi and I get ten each.
You flip the card and say "Blow."
-"Blow." -"Blow"? Okay.
Or "Blown."
"Blow." "Blown."
We try to make the most sets.
-Get it. -What?
-It's probably easier to just do it once. -"Blow" or "Blown"?
-I don't understand the "Blow" bit. -As you flip it.
-I say "Blow"? -"Blow."
-As I flip? -Yeah.
-Should I try? Just one card? -Yes.
"Blow."
Correct. He's blowing, right?
-I go again? -Yes.
It's your turn. See how many sets you can make.
"Blow."
You're doing great.
There's "Blown" too. You can choose either one.
Okay. I get it now. Okay.
"Blow."
-It's "Blown." -He's being blown.
I see.
Okay. Let's go on to the next game. Sorry.
This is the next game. "Can do it" or "Can't do it."
-"Can do it" or "Can't do it"? -"Can do it" or "Can't do it."
You go first, Iwahashi.
"Can't do it."
It's "Can do it."
You can do her, right?
Can I?
You think I can?
I might be able to.
If you try hard?
-Who is she? -If you try really hard?
-So? -I think I really can do her.
Why laugh at your own bit?
All on your own.
Damn.
What were you doing?
-He laughed at his Shochiku game. -Seriously.
-It was his own idea. -Can Iwahashi really do her?
He said that he can.
You squealed.
He can do her.
You said that he could.
But I really can do her.
-I think I could do her, too. -Who is this?
Chomi, from Chomi-Choko.
Oh, Chomi-Choko. Okay.
Let's take a look.
-This is a first for you, Kinoshita. -Yes.
If you try really hard?
-So? -I think I really can do her.
But, you have been contributing.
You have been working hard.
Yellow.
Thank you.
Everyone is pretty much at the same level now.
Can I ask something before we restart?
Kasuga, what is that?
What is that?
You simply look like a guy at the gym.
What is that?
Well, it's America and Cuba.
-Why America and Cuba? -I can't let this laughing become a habit.
Do we have to figure out the meaning ourselves?
-Is that the point? -Yes. That's the joke.
-You're not dressed as an actual person? -Correct.
It's not a certain type of person, either?
Correct again.
Which side am I on? That's the question.
-Am I on the US side? -All you have is that dick.
I wouldn't say that.
Your dick was amazing.
When it comes to your dick, I'd even say that I respect it.
-Well, my dick is... -It was amazing.
My dick thing went well, but that's not all I do.
I can do that,
-but I want to try other things, too. -Let's continue the game.
Do you want to play a game to see who can keep themselves from burping?
Let's do that.
-You want to? -Yeah. I'm good at that.
You use this powder.
You drink this.
-You drink this with water. -With water?
-If you burp, you lose. -There's no water.
One packet each. We drink the whole lot.
For the loser,
I have these pills that leave you unable to taste anything that's bitter or spicy.
I don't like the sound of this.
I haven't tried them yet.
Do you want to see whether they actually work or not?
How does that experiment sound?
The loser gets the pills, right? How do we decide the loser?
The person who burps first.
Is this powder okay?
This is scary.
If you have two of these pills,
you lose your ability to taste.
Really?
-I haven't tried it yet. -It's called "Strange Supplement."
-This is scary. -We're fine if we don't burp first, right?
Right. The first person to burp becomes the guinea pig.
-So, it starts the moment we drink it? -That's right.
-We have to count down. -Yes. Everyone goes together.
Sorry.
-This is scary. -You sure brought some scary things.
Yeah, why not?
Three, two, one.
Maybe it takes a while.
-You lose. -Yeah.
You must be joking.
-I don't feel anything yet. -Me neither.
Why not?
-I don't feel a thing. -Nothing at all.
-It doesn't work on you? -Not at all.
What's with that?
That's what we want to ask you.
Sorry.
-Each pill has a different effect? -You chew them.
Yes. It says to take two at a time.
-Why don't you try it? -Go for it.
What happens once you swallow?
You chew it. Rub it on your tongue. And then...
You lose your sense of taste.
-Scary. -Which will you try first?
Why did you bring this stuff?
I wanted to do something all together.
Condensed milk?
Can you put some in my mouth? I'm too scared.
There it is.
-I don't feel a thing. -I do.
-Ready? -It comes once you speak.
Here goes!
Gross.
-That is going to taste really sweet. -It sure will.
It's not that sweet, actually.
This is amazing.
-It should be really sweet, right? -It should be.
WASABI
-Okay. -Can I put in as much as he did?
Well, I was fine just now.
-That will be so spicy. -That will burn.
Those pills don't work at all.
Kasuga, why don't you try it?
Okay. I take two?
It says you have to suck on them, without biting them.
That's why. He chewed them.
I guess you have to let them dissolve slowly.
-Suck them without biting. -Okay. They go on top of your tongue.
This is going to take ages.
-It's going to take ages? -They're not dissolving.
Damn that!
-How was it? -The pills only work on sweetness.
-Maybe stimulation is a different sense. -It's not part of taste.
Okay. I'll give it a shot.
Open wide.
CONDENSED MILK
It works, right?
-I can sense a little sweetness. -Right?
But it's not like condensed milk usually is.
Normally it's so sweet, your throat feels like it's on fire.
It's not that sweet.
-Yeah. -I see.
Maybe wasabi was the problem. Can I try a different one?
How about Tabasco sauce?
Try the Tabasco.
If this one works, it will be amazing.
This will be hot.
That's a lot.
Seriously?
It's not...
It's not what?
It's not that hot.
Not considering the amount.
It's not that hot.
Wow. I definitely would've laughed at that.
That's a hot sauce.
-It sure is. -It's really spicy.
-What about mustard? -Yeah, mustard.
Are you okay? It wasn't too hot, right?
-This is amazing. -It truly is amazing.
-If it wasn't hot, this will be fine. -This is amazing.
Can you eat spicy foods?
I don't really like spicy food.
-I'm not very tolerant. -The pills must be working.
-Try the mustard. -Are you ready?
-Maybe wasabi just doesn't mix well. -Maybe you're right.
That's a lot.
Huh?
No way.
That is funny.
-The way you look is too much. -That look is really funny.
What was that?
What happened?
Well...
It was just funny watching him pretend he was okay.
He kept pretending.
-He's such an idiot. -I thought he was really funny, too.
-He swallowed so much. -I was amazed that you all held it back.
He is an idiot.
That's a lot.
What the hell?
Why did you laugh?
It was impossible not to.
In the end, he couldn't pretend anymore.
Because it was hot. It was extremely hot.
-When did it get hot? -The very beginning!
-It was unbelievably spicy. And sweet. -It was a complete hoax?
Yes. It was sweet and spicy.
What are those pills? They don't do anything!
Iwahashi!
Red card!
I'm finished!
Gentlemen, we are two-thirds through.
We have less than two hours left.
What Kasuga did back there was... It was a little surprising.
But, how can I put it? It wasn't like it was out of character.
-But it was a unique way to get a laugh. -Okay! Thank you!
I am so disappointed.
There's one thing I'm sure about now.
This is not a game where you can wait for an opportunity to do your thing.
I mean,
if you play really aggressively...
If you try hard to make them laugh, there is a risk you'll laugh too,
but if I'd been more aggressive...
That may have worked better.
But, well...
I am so disappointed!
That was a million yen!
What was I thinking?
Wait!
Zombie Time!
Here they come.
What's going to happen? And how long will it be?
Who is it?
Welcome to "Now and Then."