THIS PROGRAM INCLUDES CONTENT THAT MAY BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR SOME VIEWERS.
PLEASE ENJOY THE SHOW AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.
These guys began their careers in front of a live audience.
If the audience in front of them laughs, they know how to build on that.
But here, they can't tell if their comedy is working or not.
I can imagine there would be times when they feel quite insecure.
What is with that hoodie?
"SORRY ABOUT THE FUSS"
-It's just a normal hoodie. -No, it's not.
My good old hoodie.
-You've never worn that before. -I always wear it.
The moment you attack is when you're at your most vulnerable.
When you make a bad attack, you can end up laughing at yourself.
It's funny when you totally miss the target, right?
You think, "Why did I make such a pathetic attempt?"
Sometimes that makes you laugh.
That sort of thing happens in comedy.
Seriously?
I had no idea
You had such beautiful nipples
-That was quick. -It's so soon.
How quick!
I understand.
HITOSHI MATSUMOTO Presents Documental
Okay, I get how this works now.
Does he really get it?
Okay. Let's go. Start.
Don't eat the eggshell. You'll get a stomachache.
We're on?
-I thought it was boiled. -Me too.
Why did you eat the shell of a raw egg?
I thought it was a boiled egg.
-You should've realized the first bite. -One bite is enough.
It was heavy. Hold it. See?
-Heavy ones are boiled, right? -It's as heavy as a normal egg.
But didn't you realize the moment you bit it?
You can't tell until you bite through.
This one isn't boiled.
Gross.
This is a boiled egg.
-Really? -Yes.
No, it's all slimy.
That's a raw egg.
Can't you tell? Don't swallow it.
He swallowed the shell.
He's like Rocky.
You grossed yourself out by eating that.
You'll bleed.
You're playing a super straight guy.
You play it so straight.
You're good at being straight.
Done it before?
-Yes, it's how I make my living. -It's your job?
Are you cooking something?
-You want boiled eggs, right? -Yes.
To erase the taste.
Do people ever want to eat boiled eggs that badly?
Everyone loves boiled eggs.
You made such a mess.
-Thin people like you wouldn't get it. -How true.
You got fat by eating boiled eggs?
All of you?
-Yes. -We eat a lot of eggs.
-I eat eggs, too. -Oh, no...
Really?
Do I have body odor? My armpits stink.
-If you need a tissue, you can use mine. -Thanks.
-Is it body odor? It smells bitter. -I'll take some.
Huh?
-It's bitter. -What's he doing?
What if it's body odor?
They smell bitter.
For real?
My mom always used a deodorant. Did she smell too? Is this genetic?
She put on a strange powder. Night after night.
In the kitchen. Under her armpits.
I thought I was safe.
It's kind of bitter.
Since we're talking about armpits,
do you sometimes find something stuck in your armpit hair?
-Little white balls? -What is that?
-It's "pitballdoo." -Huh?
-Pitballdoo? -Pitballdoo.
-It's called "pitballdoo"? -Buffalo Goro A told me.
-It's pitballdoo. -Pitballdoo?
When Daisuke found some, A said, "That's pitballdoo."
Daisuke has it?
It has a name?
Daisuke said, "I've got something here." So, A came over and said,
"That's pitballdoo."
Pitballdoo?
I've never heard of "pitballdoo."
I hate getting pitballdoo, so I shave my armpits.
-Really? -Give us a look.
I'm smooth.
-You are. -You must really hate it.
So smooth.
I don't usually get pitballdoo, but it sometimes comes after a bath.
I don't have much armpit hair.
-Yeah, that's quite thin. -You hardly have any hair.
-I don't have much either. -I get pitballdoo sometimes.
Everyone gets it?
-You shave, too. -Just this morning.
-You get white balls? -Yes.
You boiled the eggs so much, they melted!
-What are you doing? -It's okay.
-It turned into soup. -It's boiling over.
It's nearly ready.
-I'm almost done. -It's dangerous. Turn it off!
-I'm nearly finished. -Please.
-It looks like Yufuin Hot Spring. -It's not Yufuin.
Pitballdoo!
Cut the "pitballdoo"!
I'm almost done.
I'm sorry about the wait.
-Is it Noboribetsu Hot Spring? -No.
It's boiled eggs.
-What's with the hot springs? -Guys...
-Beppu Hot Springs? -They're done. I'm turning off the heat.
-What's he doing? -No idea.
-Look at that. -Everything melted.
Oh, what a shame.
They disappeared!
-They went back to jelly. -Jelly? Don't you mean egg?
The boiled eggs disappeared.
-Stop lying. -They're gone.
I saw you, actually. You only put little jellies into that.
What sort of joke is that?
I just wanted everyone to eat something that was boiled.
What's with you?
I'll cool it down.
Let me cool it down.
-Be careful. -That's dangerous. It's boiling water.
-I'll cool it down. -You're on roller skates.
Seriously. Stop it.
-Watch out. -We're not joking.
Seriously.
-You're on roller skates! -It's dangerous!
-That's dangerous. -Seriously.
-That's really dangerous. -Stop it.
You really shouldn't do that!
Don't do it!
That burns!
That was hot!
-This is dangerous! -Then put it down.
-Seriously, that's really dangerous. -We're telling you.
I'll put it down.
I'm on roller skates!
Don't do it!
-Ouch! -Watch out!
What were you thinking?
"SORRY ABOUT THE FUSS"
Don't apologize with your T-shirt.
That was more than just a fuss.
It's the same design as your hoodie?
Seriously.
-No more boiling water. -Let's stop before someone gets hurt.
Take off those silly shoes now.
Ow!
What's wrong?
That really hurts.
That really hurts!
This really hurts.
Try it yourself.
It has a "tap" mode.
He's moving automatically.
But my shoulders aren't stiff.
That's scary.
Does it hurt?
It hurts. It hurts a lot.
-Are you starting to relax? -This is not cool. Really.
-Are you making yourself do that? -No. Honestly.
Oh, God!
Wow.
It hurts that much?
This is amazing.
This is "knead" mode.
Yamamoto, this is really not good.
That's dangerous. That's enough.
Wow, Yamamoto. This is amazing.
-Please, Yamamoto. -You want a break?
-Can I stop? My shoulders aren't stiff. -Really?
Try it yourself.
-That's my seat. -Yours is over there.
No, that's mine.
-Are you making trouble? -No, I'm--
Was that the Kasu Kasu Dance? Kasuga's "Kasu Kasu."
Damn!
It's the Kasu Kasu Dance.
-You're right. -It's the Kasu Kasu.
It's the Kasu Kasu Dance.
The Kasu Kasu.
-Tasu! -How does the original go?
-He said, "Tasu." -It's "Kasu."
Let's do it over here, too.
That's scary.
You look like that Fan Lady.
-The Fan Lady? -This can't be good for you.
Do you have one, too?
There are two machines. He brought it.
-The same thing? -He brought electric therapy equipment?
-It's his own? -What brand are these?
-I've never seen one without a name. -That looks cool.
Those don't work on me at all.
-Really? -Yeah.
-For real? -It's quite strong.
-Are you that strong? -Honestly.
He seems to enjoy it.
-These things never work on me. -They don't work on you?
-It must work on you. -Could you turn mine down?
-Wow. -Turn mine down!
When I do this on TV, I have to fake the reaction.
-That sounds tough for a different reason. -Wow.
-But it's working. -I don't feel a thing.
You're moving a lot.
No, I'm not.
You're moving a whole lot.
-It's at max. -I'm not moving at all.
-You are. -You're moving a lot.
-I'm doing it myself. -You're okay?
It's at max power.
Wow.
Doesn't that hurt?
Not at all. I could do anything with this on.
But it really works on Kinoshita.
-You have to cut that out. -He looks like Master Osamu.
-What mode does that? -He's not Master Osamu.
He looks like a rhino.
It doesn't affect me at all.
You're going to spill the water.
That is definitely working.
-Let's try both. -Won't that be too strong?
I'll go slowly.
Really? Is it okay to go double?
-What level is yours? -10.
Level 10? I'll make this one 10, too.
-He said that he's fine. -No, that's dangerous!
-Ready? -Watch out!
-Level 10? -Not when he's doubled.
-Level 10. "Tap" mode. -He'll catch fire.
-Kobayashi. Come on. Stop it. -Are you okay, Kobayashi?
Why don't you take them off?
-He's like Rambo. -He can't feel it, right?
-That torture scene. -That's too much.
-He doesn't feel it, right? -You don't feel it?
-He's not Rambo. He's the Fan Lady. -Like this.
-Remember Rambo? -The Fan Lady.
-She's here? -The Fan Lady.
-In Rambo II. -Iwahashi, your turn.
-My turn? -They captured him.
Switch on.
Switch off.
Rambo, right?
-It's a scene from Rambo. -That electric shock one?
Kobayashi is in more trouble now.
-You're not getting real electricity. -I was doing Rambo.
-You'll get KO'd. -I can't feel a thing.
Really?
A man... A man...
A man who can stay in an electric bath for a long time
-This is a Sixpad. -A six pad?
What is it?
Wow.
I want to try.
Ronaldo does the ads for this.
Wow.
-Cristiano Ronaldo. -Cristiano.
-That's the new one. -Right.
-Anyone know how it works? -Toos.
-I've never used one. -Toos.
-It goes on your abs.
-Toos. -Why don't you know?
Well, this is the first time I've tried it.
-Toos. -Toos.
Do you say "Toos" to every "Toos"?
Of course, I react to your "Toos."
-Toos. -Toos.
Shut up.
Toos.
-How do you say "tooth"? -Toos.
Tooth!
-What was your other joke? -The demon tile.
Demon tile!
Who laughs at that?
It does well in Africa.
Demon tile?
-His fans laugh at it. -Fans?
-Go live in Africa. -Live in Africa.
-Toos. -Toos.
-Toos! -Toos.
-No money. -Toos!
-No money. -No money.
Toos!
No money. You're finished.
-No. -Are you Toos?
-Yes, I am Toos. -No, you're not Toos.
-Toos! -Toos.
You're not Toos.
You're no money. You're finished.
No!
Toos!
What did all that mean?
It's Toos.
Toos!
He's using that electric cigarette.
He's protecting himself from laughing with that.
What?
The Sixpad has disappeared. Why?
What?
-The Sixpad's gone. -You had it.
-Exactly. -Where did it go?
-It disappeared during our Toos. -Is that it?
Isn't that it?
It's black, right?
-Maybe it's... -It's black.
Maybe it's on someone's stomach.
-Nobody's wearing it. -I wanted to put it on.
-It's gone. -How could it disappear?
Is RG wearing it?
-Where did the Sixpad go? -Why isn't it here?
It's orange, right?
Is it orange?
It has a black front and orange back.
You found it!
Was it you?
-He hid it. -No, I didn't.
-Not so fast. I didn't hide it. -Seriously?
You hid it. It was down here.
Wait a minute. I wouldn't do a thing like that.
-I should've guessed. -You were behind me.
It wasn't me.
Wakkenage!
-Hiding things isn't nice. -Apologize.
Sorry.
-Do it right. -Apologize properly.
Sorry.
More!
Sorry.
-Done. -Well, okay.
-Really? -Toos.
That's not acceptable!
That's not--
Jumping chair part two!
What does "wakkenage" mean?
You're caught up on that?
My "wakkenage"?
I think it sticks to you.
I'll take a seat.
You're taking too long with that.
-Why didn't you prepare it beforehand? -You'd usually try at home first.
Construction worker.
-Let's wait. -Come on.
It's taken so long, I'm sick of it.
-That's enough. -I'm nearly there.
There's only one piece left.
-You never used that before? -No, I haven't.
You finally responded to me!
-Wasn't he answering you? -Sorry.
-No wonder he's angry. -He's your senior.
-You ignored him? -Sorry.
-He's the biggest. He's scary. -He's intense.
He ignored you the whole time?
He ignored you?
I wouldn't say that.
-Intentionally? -Of course not.
But so many people are here.
-He's a lot older than you. -I know. I'm sorry.
We apologize, too.
He's angry with you now.
It's fine.
He's mad now.
I'm not mad.
I just didn't like it. I'm sorry.
-I didn't like being ignored. -It's not nice.
I didn't mean to ignore him.
-He's your senior. -I doubt he actually ignored me.
-It wasn't on purpose, right? -Of course not.
-There were just too many people. -It only seemed like he ignored you.
But with no response--
I plugged one more in.
-He definitely ignored you. -Hey. You did it again.
You totally ignored the old lady.
Old lady?
Sorry.
-It's ready. -Finally!
-Put it on. -It sticks to you, right?
Roll up your shirt.
But with abs like yours, you don't need it.
-Good point. -He's right.
That might be true.
Is this vest new?
I just bought it.
That's a weird way to undress.
-He's worried about the mic. -Don't slam it.
What's he doing?
I'll strip you.
Just do it already.
What are you doing?
How did he put it on?
Nice body.
-We can see your nipples. -You should hide them.
Nice body.
Kukky is trying hard to fool us.
Wow.
He won't get away with it next time.
-It's touching your ribs. -Here?
-That looks good. -Your body doesn't need more training.
Should I put these on, too?
-On his shoulders and his stomach. -He will definitely feel this.
-Will it make him Rambo? -Is it turned on?
-How is that? -It's beeping.
-Can you feel it? -I can! It's on my abs!
He's twitching.
Wow.
-Your shoulders, right? -It's doing my abs.
-Your shoulders. -My abs!
-This thing really works. -On your shoulders, not your abs.
100% the shoulders.
-Wow. My abs. -It's doing his chest, too.
His chest is pumped up.
This is intense. My abs won't take much more.
-Wow. -This is amazing.
-Wow. My abs.
-It's your shoulders. -Ronaldo is amazing.
Toos!
Demon tile.
Kasu Kasu.
Kasu... Kasu Kasu.
Kasu Kasu.
You're smiling. Are you okay with that?
We can see your nipples.
-It's definitely a shoulder workout. -Wow.
Kasuga, please show us one of your bodybuilding poses.
Here I go.
Side chest.
Don't forget to smile.
Smile!
-I can't smile right now. -Show us a smile!
-Way to go! -Come on!
-Her nipple won't fit. -You're big!
-Hide the nipple. -Looking good!
Her nipple won't...
-Sorry. -Hide the nipple.
You're looking good!
Kasuga, I know you've been bodybuilding for a long time.
But Goto has a much better body.
He does.
-Goto works out. -You do?
You work out?
A little bit.
Really?
-Want a look? -Yes.
Please.
Thanks.
We don't usually get to see Goto naked.
The thing about Goto's body is you'd probably say it's "sharp."
What's the word? "Cut"?
Right. He is cut.
What does "cut" mean?
-It's the shape of the muscle. -He'd be in the "physique" class.
-Either "physique" or "best body." -"Best body."
Not the "bodybuilding" class.
He's just like tofu.
Tofu.
Udon with tofu.
-Udon with tofu? -Bean curd skin.
Tofu?
-Why are you holding that? -We're going in order.
Aren't we?
We've had enough of that.
You've had that in your hands the whole time.
You're like a salesman.
I understand the urge to stick it on.
All that did is make us shake. Nothing more.
Then what do you want to buy?
We've had enough.
Does that work on you?
Of course it does.
If you don't want--
Is that how you spent the past 10 years? You sold those things?
You sold them, and meat-wrapped rice balls?
I sold these and meat-wrapped rice balls door-to-door.
-Door-to-door? -That's right.
-You sold meat-wrapped rice balls? -Door-to-door.
Who buys rice balls from traveling salesmen?
Goto, there's a guitar here.
That's a violin.
There's a guitar.
A guitar.
It's a violin.
Play with that on.
Allow me.
Give me a break. I'm not good at doing things like this.
Do it slowly then. From the lowest level.
It may not work on you.
Why do I have to hold this?
That's hot!
-The electricity is making him play. -Wow.
-He's playing with electricity. -It's an electric guitar.
How true! He's The Ventures.
Wow.
Playing with electricity.
Who was that?
You totally laughed.
You made yourself laugh by joining in.
You laughed as you went "bi-bi-bi."
As though we were in the dressing room.
What is wrong with you?
Seriously.
It goes without saying, right?
Playing with electricity.
-You clearly laughed. -Sorry.
-You get a yellow card. -Yellow.
I accept that.
And Yamamoto...
You seem to be having fun.
I am having fun.
It really is fun.
You're making us doubt you.
Everyone is thinking, "Hmm..."
We're glad to see you too, but...
I get your point.
Keep up the good work.
It's too early to be getting naked.
-You're right. -Only 45 minutes have passed.
Being naked isn't funny anyway.
Start.
-You were funny. -Really.
You're like bean curd.
-I wrote everyone a letter. Can I read it? -No.
What do you mean, no?
-You wrote to everyone? -Yes.
-Individual letters? -Just one, to everyone.
-But you didn't know who would be here. -That's right.
I wrote it to the members I'd meet here.
If it's not personal, it won't work.
-Its message won't reach us. -We don't need it.
-Don't read it. -Your bad.
-Throw it away. -That's your bad.
Go read it over there.
Read it on the other side of the sofa.
Can't I read it to you here?
Read it out loud in the locker room.
-That's best. -For real?
-Can't I read it here? -No point.
It's our choice whether we listen or not.
-This could be dangerous. -You might ignore me?
Of course.
-Kinoshita, why don't you join him? -Not me.
"Dear members of Documental.
"If I am reading this, it must have begun.
"It must have begun!"
He is so loud.
"The game has begun, right?
"Everyone. Everyone.
"Everyone!"
-We heard you. -"Did you sleep well?
"I couldn't sleep!
"Huh?
"Say... Say...
"Say!"
-It needs a rewrite. -"How do you feel, feel.
"Feel!
"Let's feel!"
A normal letter would have been worse.
-If it was normal, I may have laughed. -Right.
-This is no problem. -Yeah.
Damn it!
Give it a rewrite.
Why can't I read properly?
-The letter was normal, but he can't read. -That was the joke?
-The problem wasn't the text. -Apparently.
Sorry for the clumsy attempt and for giving up halfway through.
-You can't read properly? -No.
I see.
Why can't I even do something so simple?
You made it ring.
Reading is a simple task.
How could I screw that up?
I wrote a letter, too.
You're kidding.
-Two in a row? -Can I read it?
Really?
Should we make it a rule that letters are read over there?
I think so.
I'm going to read it.
"Documental.
"Season Three."
He's so quiet.
"Dear participants. It's a pleasure to meet you.
"I'm Motoharu Sano."
-It's an emotional reading. -It's an impression.
-"I'm Motoharu Sano." -Who?
-Motoharu Sano. -It's an impression. He can't talk loudly.
"Looking back on things now,
"we spent so many Somedays together."
Motoharu Sano is a slow talker. This will take ages.
-He's so quiet. -Right?
"So, you had it all wrong."
I can't hear him at all.
Me neither.
-Did you get it? -Loud and clear.
-Wakkenage? -We got it.
-Did you really write that? -Yes.
-You wrote a letter, too? -I did.
I was given a letter, too.
It was given to you?
From who? What does he mean?
Letters have to be read over there.
"So, um...
"Okay. I was wondering...
"You come here to shoot TV shows.
"I don't know why.
"But you keep coming here to shoot, right?
"Right? That's not a problem.
"I don't mind you coming to film your shows.
"But after it's finished, you always ask to take a few things home.
"Right? I don't know why.
"But you guys want my radio-controlled cars and my air guns.
"I don't mind you coming, but can't you all come at once?
"After all, you guys,
"you come here..."
Who is this supposed to be?
-"You always take something." -Who is it?
-It's like he's rehearsing for a play. -He said it was a letter.
-He's impersonating somebody. -"I'll ban you from coming to my base."
It's someone who gets interviewed on TV a lot.
-What? -A restaurant?
-"However..." -This is way too long.
-"You take my air guns." -They take his air guns?
"You take my radio-controlled cars, too.
"You always want so much."
-Is that George Tokoro? -Tokoro-san?
-It doesn't sound like him at all. -It must be someone else.
Right?
-Was that Tokoro? -Who was it?
Tokoro-san just dropped by.
-That was Tokoro? -It didn't sound like him at all.
Apparently a lot goes down at Base.
At Setagaya Base?
-His fancy garage? -People take things home.
Would you mind gathering around?
I brought some ghost photos.
That's scary. Please don't show them.
I'm scared I might laugh at something, so can we look at some ghost photos?
Ghost photos?
-Really? -I really don't want to.
Please don't do it.
-It really is a ghost. Take a look. -Seriously?
A ghost?
That's a shrunken head.
-That's scary. -It's so small.
"Master Shrunken-Head."
-Is he in the background? -No, he's in front.
-If he's behind, his body should be small. -It's the angle.
Only his head is shrunk.
-Is Master Daisuke a ghost? -It can't be the angle.
His body's here.
That's so small.
Why did you take a photo during their act?
Because it's a ghost photo.
What does that mean?
That's scary.
This one's small, too.
-Which one is the ghost? -That's Hanako.
-Which is the ghost? -That's Hanako.
-Is Hanako the ghost? -Hanako is...
Kinoshita, look properly.
I'm looking.
Look, asswipe!
He's your senior.
That's scary.
Look how small he is.
-Kinoshita, look at this one. -Yamamoto is close.
So small.
-Yamamoto is close. -Do heads get that small?
-You have so many photos. -His hands grew, too.
They did. Wow.
I didn't laugh.
Me neither.
-Was it Yamamoto? -He's been smiling all day.
I didn't laugh.
What about this photo?
If this is for you...
-Look what happened here. -His head is normal size.
Yamamoto!
Orange.
Really?
You're very smiley today.
You're a smiley guy.
Do heads get that small?
-You have so many photos. -His hands grew, too.
They did. Wow.
I warned you. You should have tried looking angry.
Otherwise, you'd be in trouble.
I know how you feel. I'd laugh at that, too.
You can't show people this.
I hope they find out and summon you for a good scolding.
I'm on my last life. I'm going to lose, damn it.
I don't want to lose a million yen like this!
-You can't just not look. -I already saw them.
I'm done for!
You really can't do that. You have to look at them.
-I'm done for! -Start.
Kinoshita, you have to look.
-Can you do that without touching me? -Have you been looking at the photos?
-Okay? I've been looking. -I saw them, too.
No, you didn't.
-I'm done for! -Let's gather around.
Let's all look together--
Ouch!
-This is good. -Don't resort to violence.
I'm done for!
-You've gone crazy. -Anyone can see.
That can't be helped.
Why am I almost out?
-Stop that. -What's your problem?
Hey!
-Don't hit the old lady. -You're the one who laughed.
-It's your fault. -He's lost it.
I'm the only one with so many cards.
-That's no excuse. -I have no chance.
-You're the one who laughed. -No more violence.
-You can't do that. -Yamamoto.
-Stop hiding. -Please look.
-Don't close your eyes. -Look at the photo.
Look!
-I think you should look. -Kinoshita, too.
-You have to look, too. -Let's all look together.
They're pioneers at Yoshimoto.
-Let's all look together. -They're our pioneers.
Hurry up, guys.
It's not fair if you don't look.
Kinoshita, look here. You get the best seat.
-You didn't see the first few. -Kukky is close, too.
That can't be an official profile photo.
-There's a normal-size version, too. -His head isn't that small.
-Kinoshita? -Wait a minute.
Goto?
It's Goto.
He lost it now?
-Was that Goto? -He laughed.
-It's definitely Goto. -What a surprise.
Of course this makes me laugh.
-You can't help but laugh. -It's too much.
-That's not fair. -That's too much.
This will land you in trouble.
-You have no respect. -Of course, I do.
You have no respect at all.
And don't diss their fashion sense.
Who is it?
Goto.
These kinds of things are my weak point.
You smiled so hard, your eyes nearly popped.
That can't be an official profile photo.
-There's a normal-size version, too. -His head isn't that small.
-Kinoshita? -Wait a minute.
This photo is downright rude.
-I'm just showing my respect. -It's taboo.
You're insulting these veterans.
You have a computer to make these?
-Some people haven't seen them yet. -You have to look.
-Kasuga, look at them. -I already did.
Kasuga, you didn't.
I did look at them.
-You didn't look at them. -I did.
Restart.
We're on!
Kasuga and Kinoshita should sit in front of the photos.
-Take one look. -Just a minute.
You two have to sit over here.
Take a look at them face-to-face.
You haven't looked properly. That's unfair.
-Just sit down and look. -I already did.
It's not fair if you don't look. Seriously.
-I'm tidying them up now. -Why don't we all look together?
We already looked!
Let's all look together. We should form a line.
Line up like this.
-Don't fake it by focusing somewhere else. -Okay.
-Let's stare straight at them. -All together.
Let's start from the top.
-Again? -Start from where we left off.
Just show us the last two photos.
-We already saw these. -Show us the last two.
We don't need a revision.
I can't take this.
Date laughed.
-He laughed out loud. -It was a completely normal laugh.
He said, "I can't take this." Then he broke up.
That photo's a killer. Wow.
-What was that? -You laughed out loud.
Was this one here before?
That was the worst laugh yet.
-These pictures are dangerous. -They're too much.
That was a proper laugh.
This isn't right.
See? That's why I was wary.
-Date. -Yes?
-This isn't right. -You went "ha ha ha."
Then you said, "I can't take this."
"I can't take this" and "ha ha ha."
But his head kept getting smaller.
Date gets an orange card.
Just show us the last two photos.
-We already saw these. -Show us the last two.
We don't need a revision.
I can't take this.
Date laughed.
If you keep this up,
the second episode will be all about Daisuke & Hanako.
-All of Episode 2. -I'll take out everyone with these?
If you laugh out loud, I have to give you that card.
-Okay. -Keep up the good work.
He looks like The Mountain.
-He really does. -He's The Mountain.
Sit down.
-Kinoshita. -Sit down where you were.
You need to look at them face-to-face.
-Sit where you were. -I'm used to them now.
-Kasuga, please look. -I already did.
-Really? -I don't think so.
-I did. -Sit down.
I was looking just now.
-It won't end otherwise. -Okay.
Don't focus on how his head shrinks.
-I can't look. It's my last life. -That doesn't matter.
Here we go.
Yeah, I saw that one before.
I really don't like this.
-Okay. Fine. -I really don't like these photos.
-I think I'm safe now. -Look, Date.
-Date. -You need to look.
-You have to look. -I am looking.
No, you're not. You're facing away.
That isn't right.
You need to come here and look.
-My mic needs new batteries. -It's too early for that.
-Have a seat. -I'm looking, too.
Date, don't worry. They're a pair.
-They're the same. -Have a good look.
See? Master Hanako is the same.
In the next one, it's not his head. This time it's his arm.
He looks like the Hulk.
This is the last one.
Yaseibakudan Kawashima!
You're mocking me, right?
Who are you?
Daisuke.
You're not even close.
-It's me. -Daisuke doesn't talk like that.
It was just RG.
But thank you for interrupting.
That killed the joke.
If you hadn't said something, Kukky would have laughed.
I was really close to laughing.
-You sure found some great photos. -They're amazing.
Where was this one shot?
-Let me give you a reward. -Thanks.
How tiny.
It's tiny sushi.
I can't eat normal sushi. Thanks for giving me the egg.
Wow.
His hand is... Goto.
Goto, look at his hand.
-It's hand-sushi. -Look at Goto.
"Hey...
"Hey, my hand is...
"You turned my hand into sushi.
"My hand...
"You turned my hand into sushi."
"Shut up. Leave the talking to me."
"Sushi."
Isn't that sushi cute?
-Is that an eraser? -It is.
-Does it erase? -It's a funny eraser.
But the seaweed part is plastic.
Well, I guess you have to remove it.
But maybe the egg part leaves a yellow mark.
-It should be okay. It's an eraser. -I see.
Who did this?
I did. It's for all of you.
-I thought you might like some watermelon. -Wow. Thank you.
I was still cutting it when that last bit started.
Can anybody eat watermelon like Ken Shimura-san does?
-It's harder than it looks. -You end up choking.
-It's that hard? -Can anyone do it?
-Watch your hand. -Be careful, Yamamoto...
What a sly move.
When I showed the photos, he shut the door.
He protected himself physically?
There's a lot of paper here.
Should we clean up?
-Let's clean this up a little. -Good idea.
Over here, too.
Ow.
Did someone throw a ball at me?
What?
Was it Kinoshita?
-You owe Kinoshita an apology. -It wasn't me.
He was way back there.
It hit me.
It hit me out of the blue. For nothing.
-Nothing hit you. Nothing was thrown. -Nothing happened.
-Thank you. -Wow!
-Thanks! -Thank you!
-We might as well enjoy it. -Wow.
Thanks.
It's written backwards. "UFO."
What an idiot.
I have a three-year-old daughter.
Yesterday she said I had to do something.
She gave me something of hers. It was her panties.
But she's only three...
-You wore them? -How nice of you. You did that for her?
I forgot he was a daddy.
What an idiot.
Your ball sack is hanging out.
A little fire has broken out.
-You're right. -It doesn't all fit.
They're sticking out.
-But you are a good father. -The pants sort of work, too.
-She'll love that you did it. -Did she ask you to wear them?
She gave them to me...
"SORRY ABOUT THE FUSS"
Now we have a traffic accident.
The "F" is back-to-front.
Because I wrote it in the mirror?
So that's why nobody laughed?
That's probably not the reason.
UFO
-I crashed into somebody's joke? -You came out at the same time.
-Who did I bump into? -I think it was me.
-You should have waited. -Sorry.
I didn't think you'd come so quickly.
Please.
You ruined it. Why is "ON" written on your forehead?
That was RG.
It's RG.
Actually...
No, no. All I did was blow out air.
-It's both of them. -It's RG.
I just breathed out.
No, there was definitely laughter in that breath.
-But I... -Either way, RG's out.
Iwahashi is lying.
-You could tell by his voice. -It's RG.
I just tried to read his forehead. A backwards "UFO."
That's why I was puffing.
Well...
It's RG.
-Shall we take a look? -Okay.
At the exact moment.
Why is "ON" written on your forehead?
That's clearly a laugh.
It sure is.
-That's out. -No excuses.
-Right? -Yeah.
-That gets a yellow card. -Yes.
Was that "UFO" an honest mistake?
Or a joke?
I did it for real.
Because of the mirror?
-I had no idea what you'd written. -It took a while.
That was the only thing you had to do properly.
-Right? -That's the most important part.
-Unbelievable. -That damn mirror.
-Iwahashi laughed, too. -He was close, right?
-He's using his condition as an excuse. -Exactly.
-That's the worst thing you can do. -It's not right.
What's with that?
They're scary. They really are.
Let's go.
-Shall we eat? -Yes.
Thank you!
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Can you eat like Shimura?
Someone should try.
I've never--
Let's find a successor...
-That was quick. -Really?
Were you being smiley again?
It wasn't me.
-I didn't laugh at all. -Me neither.
Who was it?
You laughed again.
-No way. -You went "ha ha ha."
-He did. -"Ha ha ha."
You have no recollection?
-He made a noise. -I didn't notice.
-Let's take a look. -Good idea.
The moment we restarted you went "ha ha ha."
No way.
-Shall we eat? -Yes.
Thank you!
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Can you eat like Shimura?
For that?
-You clearly laughed. There's no doubt. -That was a smile.
You can't do that.
-That's out, too? -Of course it is.
That's what this is. That's the competition.
-That's why we're here. -I really wanted to have a good restart.
-We can't even smile, right? -Yeah.
It was the same for Yamamoto.
That's right.
So...
-You're out of chances. -That's that.
Sorry. It was my bad. Let's go.
Well, that was a bit of a shock. But that's what happens after a while.
-You let your guard down. -We mustn't forget that this is a battle.
-We'd become a little too friendly. -That's right.
-We're not on the same team. -We're enemies.
-We can be friends again when it's over. -Thank you.
I think the watermelon did it.
-It created a friendly atmosphere. -That was Yamamoto's strategy.
-It was his plan. -You feel like friends.
-Watermelon is fun. -He planned this.
-Watermelon tastes good. -Can I have some?
Let's eat.
-Why don't we try that thing? -Shimura-style eating.
Do you think you can do it?
He looks good at it.
That piece looks good.
-I've never done it before. -You have to go quickly.
-It's no easy feat. -It's so fast.
-Should we give him a countdown? -Okay.
Three. Two. One...
Start.
That's fast.
Wow.
Amazing.
He stopped.
-You couldn't do it? -Nope.
-It really is difficult. -Shimura really is amazing.
-He's so fast. -He is really fast.
What's wrong?
Sushi fell out.
Were you eating sushi?
Which was it? Sushi or watermelon?
Can you eat both at the same time?
-They don't seem to match. -There's blood in my mouth.
Really?
It's just watermelon, right?
-You bit too hard? -It's watermelon.
It's just watermelon. It's watermelon red.
It's the fruit.
-Uh-oh. -It's not blood. It's just juice.
-It's fruit. -Right?
It's blood.
-Blood? -Seriously?
-No, it's not. -It's just fruit.
-It's watermelon. -It's full-on fruit.
-Are you okay? -I'm fine.
Can I look in your mouth? I'll check for blood.
This is gross. Let me remove the watermelon first.
Sorry about that.
-He had that much inside? -How can you do that?
-You can put your hand in his mouth? -I have to check if he's bleeding.
-Is that pus? -It's not pus.
-Is it an ulcer? Pus? -He didn't swallow any of it.
Look, guys. He has a lot of fillings.
Those are old.
They're the old type of fillings.
-Open up. -I want to see.
-You want a look, right? -Yes.
Open up, please.
If a dentist saw that, he'd take them all out.
Look. Here.
-Stop. -They're white nowadays.
This way.
90% of them have fillings.
What's this?
What's going on?
Look. Look closely.
He's your senior.
-Stop it. -What's he doing?
Don't fight.
-Where did this come from? -This is not good.
This is pro wrestling.
My stomach hurts.
Watch Akiyama.
And Kasuga.
Kasuga!
-That was too strong. -He was close.
-That was scary, actually. -He was close.
-Quit getting into fights. -Don't go too far.
Sorry.
We don't do violence, and we don't waste food.
-Look at all that food. -We can't waste it.
Who'll try that Shimura thing next?
You should add "san" to his name.
It's "Shimura-san."
Or "Master Shimura."
Or perhaps "Brother Shimura."
-Let's eat the watermelon. -Okay.
-Go ahead. -No, let's take turns.
-You're the biggest guy. -Akiyama, eat up.
-Me? -Yeah.
Thank you.
Can I have a big piece? But firstly, I'll do this.
I remove the rind first.
You eat it like that?
-Like you eat oranges. -I've never seen that before.
-I've done this since I was a child. -It looks good.
You can really go for it.
It looks like meat.
-It's like you're eating raw meat. -Wow.
-You're right. -That looks tasty.
That's cool.
That's original.
-It looks better without the rind. -Yes, it's...
You can eat quicker without the rind.
I've never seen that done before.
Can you take off the white part? I don't like too much fat.
Coming right up.
Those are experienced hands.
-Here you go. -Thanks.
Okay.
How cute.
You have a button of a mouth.
I have a tiny mouth.
-Because it hurts? -Exactly.
It stings.
Because you cut it.
-Can I have your attention? -Yes.
-Can I say something? -Yes.
It's been a while but,
I'm entering the R-1 competition.
-Really? -I haven't competed for six years.
-Wow. -That is amazing.
I've come up with a plan.
I'm thinking about stealing Hey! Takuchan's act.
-Is that okay? -The act he does just with his chin?
As long as Hey! Takuchan doesn't see it, I should be safe.
Well, that's a pretty famous act.
If you make quite a few changes, it could be okay.
I'll do exactly the same thing.
You can't do it anyway.
I practiced. I can do it.
-Would you mind showing us? -It's quite a particular skill.
-I'll do a bit. -The voice and the jaw must be tough.
-Come here. -RG?
We're about to watch an act.
-Whose? -Mine.
Sorry.
-That was my bad timing. -If we're ready.
Hello, I am Hey! Takuchan.
-You'll do it as Hey! Takuchan? -You can't.
-It's his name. -Why not "Koba-chan"?
Hello, I am Koba-chan.
Today I would like to show you some of my "mouth impressions."
-Mouth impressions? -Let's get started.
Hello.
I'm Fujiwara.
I would love to drink the urine of a high school girl.
-That's really like him. -Next.
See that girl walking up ahead?
If all I did was tug on her braids,
the police would let me off, right?
That is impressive.
But with the beard, the mouth's different.
-You're right. The mouth is all wrong. -He could've tried harder.
Isn't my comedy partner edgy?
I'm Hey! Takuchan. Thanks for listening.
You looked exactly like them.
I mean, you really chose good phrases.
-He says things like that. -They were probably quotes.
He really did say them.
-The only problem is the beard. -Your mouth doesn't look like his.
-Not at all. -Yeah.
Who is that supposed to be?
Well, um...
I was hoping this would turn out to resemble someone.
-You're still searching? -Right.
But it looks good.
-And that wig is really good. -Right?
I really like it.
Want a go?
I don't think it will suit me.
Try it.
Why not?
Thanks. Is this custom-made?
It is.
I wear it when I need a disguise.
-You wear that often? -Yeah.
-You look like Keisuke Koide. -Seriously?
That's what he looks like at movie premieres.
I've never seen him at a movie premiere. What's he like?
They use movie premiere footage of him in the news.
-Act like you think he would. -Just take a guess.
Good evening.
If you'd be kind enough to rub my back,
I will settle down.
So everyone, please,
rub my back.
-He'd never say that. -What kind of movie is that?
You said to take a guess. You don't know either.
He wouldn't talk about back rubs.
Then where would he rub?
I don't know where he rubs.
I don't know where he rubs. But Koide...
I do know?
What are you talking about?
Your hair looks like Yuya Uchida.
Seriously? That's pretty cool.
Try doing a movie premiere as Yuya Uchida.
-If you could rub my back-- -Again?
-What kind of movie is that? -What's your problem?
Front-row person.
Front-row person?
If he needs a back rub, does that mean he's ill?
Of course it does.
-What are you eating? -Mints.
Want one?
I'm fine.
Now we just wait for the jelly to cool.
-Does it look good? -Yes. I put lots in this time.
He gave me a pull tab...
-This isn't refreshing. -It is.
It's dangerous. I'll get a mouth like yours.
It will be full of blood!
If I put it in...
If I chew this I'll bleed.
You're being loud. You have a big voice today!
-You told me this was a mint. -Nice loud voice.
It's sharp. Touch this.
Nice loud voice!
Toos!
Toos.
-Toos! -More!
-Toos. -No!
Toos!
Yes, yes! That's it.
-Why don't we clean up the watermelon? -Good idea.
We can't leave food out like this.
-You're right. -All this watermelon.
You can keep your mints.
I'll take a pee in the meantime.
What should we do with the watermelon?
This place is in quite a mess.
-Where should we put this? -The sink will do.
Put this in the refrigerator.
It looks like you've had a lot of fun here.
Wow.
He laughed.
Here?
I got him!
What happened?
I did it!
I heard a really loud laugh.
He got me.
Damn. I'm sorry.
What happened?
Well, it was the mints.
He handed me the pull tab.
I gave him something to repay the favor.
It's a small curry.
A tiny curry popped out.
It's a tiny curry with rice.
Kukky, I think you're in big trouble here.
This is your second card. Can I take another look?
I'll have to look again and decide whether this is a red or an orange.
That's how much he laughed.
It looks like you've had a lot of fun here.
That was incredible.
No, no, no!
-Incredible. -No, no, no!
No, no, no!
No!
Red!
-He got it. -That's it.
-You're a zombie now. -Oh, that's right.
I forgot about that.
-I'll do my best as a zombie. -Be a good zombie.
-Make everyone laugh. -Okay.
-So, are you ready to go? -Yes.
-I'm out. -Later.
Goodbye.
-Thank you! -Thank you.
-You did a great job. -Sure did.
I'm scared of his zombie already.
No more counterattacks, Goto.
But you know, he got me first.
The timing was right and I had just the right item.
Goto was my weak point?
Goto's an offense player, actually.
He was the funny guy in his previous duo.
He's good at being stupid, too.
When you think about it, he really is an all-round player.
Damn.
Goto was the one I needed to watch out for.
-I can't keep focused. -Me, too.
-Two hours have passed. -Danger time.
Is that all my concentration lasts for?
Two hours might be my limit.
I'm getting tired.
That's not good.
Start.
-Watch out. You have a card. -Four hours to go.
It's too early to change your batteries.
-Who wants cola? -Anybody?
Me.
You want some?
I'll have some.
There's alcohol, too.
Quit that already.
-Enough with the jelly. -I'm cooling it now.
Who's in charge here?
I can't even tell how much of a mess you've made yet.
I just got here.
Who's running this?
Who gave you permission to make such a mess?
Me.
-It was him. -He's in charge.
I can't rent it out looking like this.
Sorry.
-We're on a training camp. -Sorry.
Nobody told me that you would be making this much of a mess.
Sorry.
Right?
However...
You can come here and have your fun. I don't mind that.
But don't you think this mess is going too far?
You're right.
Can I say--
That wasn't in the contract, was it?
We went a little far. Sorry.
Right? You came here for your fun.
But you can't...
There's no... This is too much. And it shouldn't be!
-Understood. -Sorry.
Sorry.
You've heard of manners.
You have to use this place within the boundaries of the rules.
I'm a fan of yours.
We're sorry.
We only did this because you said you wouldn't be here.
Does it suddenly become okay to create chaos when I'm away?
-Of course not. Right? -You're right.
After all, the agreement was...
I signed the lease because you said you'd be tidy.
I can't rent it to people who make such a mess.
-Who is that? -I'd like to share a life hack.
-Kinoshita? -"How to peel boiled eggs."
I have no interest in how to peel boiled eggs!
Why must I learn about peeling boiled eggs from the likes of you?
Sorry I'm late. Excuse me. I apologize.
I don't need your apologies. Shu-chan, this isn't what we agreed to.
What's going on?
Where's this going?
Ocean View!
It takes all types.
We're sorry.
-Right? -We are.
That was close.
I am Ocean View.
That sure was close.
I'm Ocean View.
-I'm Ocean View. -I am the real Ocean View!
-Ocean View. -Ocean View!
Falling country people!
Who broke this?
-What's this? -Are you okay?
F-CK DIE, STUPID!!
This means trouble.
Who did this?
That's wrong.
-I left it in the changing room. -Right.
It was Kasuga, right?
-Sorry? -You were in there for ages.
It was him?
-It wasn't me. -It has the word "die."
-I didn't do it. Why would I? -You can't write that.
-That's awful. -That's so wrong.
That's wrong.
-A girl did it. There's a heart. -No girls are here.
-If it's a girl, there's only one suspect. -Who is it?
He's a she.
She's a dyke.
Was it you?
Yes.
That was wrong of you.
Well, she is a girl.
-Why did you do it? -Why did you take it out on a mirror?
Well, she is a girl.
He isn't a girl. Come on.
I am a girl.
She's transgender.
Show us.
Show what?
Proof.
-That's not quite... -How is that proof?
-We can't tell from just that. -We can't tell if you're a woman or not.
-We can't tell. -Nope.
Show us properly.
-Show your breasts. -Why must I show my breasts?
-One level higher. -That's not enough.
One more try.
-Who was it? -I don't know.
Who was it?
-Kinoshita? -Who was it?
I didn't laugh.
-You laughed. -No, I didn't. Not me.
-I didn't laugh. -I didn't laugh either.
Maybe he laughed at himself.
Did you laugh at yourself?
That smile?
-Probably. -That's got to be it!
-That's it. -Your final "hmph!"
-Date. -Perfect!
Let's take a look.
You're already out there.
You're out and...
There.
No, no.
-That's out. -You smiled.
But I wasn't laughing.
That's a laugh.
If you want to be precise, you laughed twice.
Date.
Red card!
That's harsh.
I couldn't make that face.
To the zombie room.
That's all you can do.
But I nearly laughed at your T-shirt. It has so many different helmets.
I nearly laughed at all those helmets, too.
What is with that T-shirt?
-So many helmets. -It's nice.
Why should I have to say, "So many helmets"?
I didn't buy it for the helmets.
That must be disappointing.
-It's not as though I laughed. -We feel for you.
-Take that frustration out as a zombie. -Okay.
-Let's go. -We feel for you.
-I almost laughed at your nipples. -That was close.
It's like your brain starts going crazy.
They didn't laugh at the things they usually laugh at.
I couldn't laugh at what I found funny either.
It's like, you really do start going crazy.
This really is quite tough.
All I did was show a nipple and go "hmph."
-This was out? -That's right.
No "hmphs."
Hey, that's not enough hot water.
Can you let me leave a tiny bit of chocolate?
No?
He said no!
I'm going to see how this tastes.
What an idiot.
He is an idiot.